In today's world an increasing number of children are being raised by one or both grandparents. Abandonment, neglect, or divorce has split a number of families whose only recourse is to send their children to live with Grandma and Grandpa.
If there is a child in your neighborhood who is living with grandparents, you may be able to offer a little bit of help. The grandparents will certainly appreciate it, as they may be living on fixed incomes and nursing health problems of their own. The child may welcome your attention, especially since you may be able to offer a perspective coupled with energy that the grandparents cannot match. Here are a few ideas:
1. Look to fill a specific need. For example, if Grandpa is no longer able to take the children fishing, offer to take them to a nearby pond with Grandpa for a few hours with a pole on the bank or wharf. Or if a child loves going to baseball games but Grandma works, see if your spouse and you can take the kids to a local game. Play basketball in your driveway, cook out on the grill, or do other things that kids enjoy which the grandparents cannot do at this time.
2. Don't compete for the kids' attention. While you may look like a dazzling hero to the kids in contrast to grandparents who may be elderly and feeble, play down your skills or youth. Instead, remind the children of their grandparents' love and nurturing. Fill in the gaps that grandparents are unable to manage, but don't take away anything from what the older folks do. There's a place for each adult in parentless children's lives.
3. Include the grandparents at times. Especially at first it may be a good idea to bring the grandparents along to whatever activity you have planned for the kids, whether in the community or at your home. Always get their permission first and explain what you plan to do. For example, you may be able to attend a play that the child is in when a grandparent works or isn't feeling well. First see if that's okay. You don't want to hurt someone's feelings or put them on their guard, and it may take some time to build trust if you don’t know the family well yet.
4. Share your specialties. Teach the kids to do things that their custodial grandparents don't know how to do, after getting their blessing, of course. That may include cooking, computer skills, pet or animal care, or lawn work. The older folks may appreciate your spending time and energy to help the kids learn things that will be helpful in the future, for example, when they want to get a part-time job.
Much depends on the grandparents' health, outlook, schedules, and trust. If you have a good relationship with them and time to spare for the kids, you can develop a wholesome relationship that will benefit everyone involved. Even you will come out ahead as you enjoy a sense of sharing in a needy child's life.
