Nine years old is a tough time to be a kid. Around this time, teachers and parents start giving kids less and less leeway. Now teachers expect them to know their way around school, to know the rules, and to do their homework. Of course, the kids have just about sorted themselves out. The kids know who will tell on you and who will help you with math and so on. Groups are forming that may last for years.
Those groups are critical in the world of the fourth-grader. Your child will find it important to be part of a group. For the first time in his life, his friend’s approval is more important than his parent’s. That can be a shock to Mom and Dad. But that group identity is important to his continued mental health. He needs a group to begin exploring his place in groups. He needs to find out how to work with a group. The lessons he learns now will serve as a foundation for his group interaction for years to come.
Fourth-graders are still children with a high activity level. Their games are still likely to include running and jumping. And that’s good because the longer they stay active the better. These children are now able empathize with others. Now they can understand questions like, “How would that make you feel?” much better than before. With their new, larger vocabulary, they can more easily explain their feelings.
Even though they have many new tools to deal with life, they are not typically very self-confident. This is a time of transition for them, with greater demands being placed on them, both by teachers and parents. The urge to fit in is strong, but they aren’t sure how to do that. They want to set their own standards and make their own decisions, but they don’t have the ability to do that very well.
Fourth Grade children need love and attention, just like any other child. Even though their own reading skills are pretty good, they still need to be read to. Reading to a fourth grade child gives him access to books beyond his own reading level. This encourages him to raise his reading level to get to those books. It shows him in a concrete way that reading is important. By spending time with him, you are showing him that he is important.
By fourth grade, your child will need to have good time management skills. His teachers are not as likely to take unfinished homework as they once were. Of course, Little League, Dance, Gymnastics, Boy or Girl Scouts and friends all take time from the fourth-grader’s busy day. With parental help, he can plan his time and still get it all done. Probably the single best time management tool he can learn is to have a planned homework time and stick to it. That won’t be easy with some children but, if Mom and Dad insist, it will make their lives easier. If they have no homework, that time can be for reading or studying for upcoming tests.
If his math facts aren’t memorized, homework time would give him a chance to review them. To avoid hurting those newly forged feelings, it may be a good idea to present this as “speed drills” rather than “remedial work.” Give the impression that you know that he knows the facts, and that he’s just working on speed.
Fourth Grade is usually the first time that a child is really expected to take some responsibility. It is also when a child starts to form a group identity. It is the beginning of the separation from parents, and that can be daunting for a child without the right amount of care and attention.
