The best way to know if your child is on drugs is to know your child. You should be aware of your child’s appearance, behavior, and activities on a day to day basis. When you see an unexplained change, that’s when it is time to be concerned. Keep in mind that teens try new things and go through phases, but a decline in appearance or behavior, especially if it lasts for a while, is a sign that something is wrong. It’s not only drug use that can cause these changes. Health problems may be the cause, and mental health problems, especially depression, can lead to many problems. When you notice a change in your child, you don’t want to instantly overreact and accuse him or her of using drugs, but you do want to look for a combination of the following indications of drug use.
One of the most obvious signs that a child is using drugs is in his or her appearance. Your child may come home with bloodshot, bleary, or glassy-looking eyes. They may seem uncoordinated, and stumble around. Their speech could be slurred and incoherent. If they are injecting drugs, you will see sores on their arms, legs, and feet, even between their toes. To hide the sores, they may start to wear long sleeves and long pants all the time, even when it’s warm. Some drugs cause the user to have the sniffles all the time, and snorting drugs causes the nostrils to widen and become red. If they’ve been smoking marijuana, you will notice a sweet-burnt smell on their clothes and hair. They may try to cover the smoke smell by wearing a lot of cologne and burning incense or scented candles. They may have yellowed stains on their fingers where they hold the marijuana cigarettes. You may also find that they have bad breath quite often. A more subtle change, is in their overall style of dress and personal grooming. If your child was normally careful about personal appearance, you will want to take notice if he or she starts to become careless about clothes and personal grooming. Take note if your son, who used to look clean and dress fashionably, starts to look sloppy and doesn’t shower regularly or care about how he looks . If your daughter always wore her hair nicely styled and took care with her make-up and nails, and now she doesn’t bother with her grooming, you may want to pay attention to this new trend. You will also want to look at your child’s overall appearance of health. Notice if they have lost or gained weight, if they look ashen or pale, if they have dark circles around their eyes, or just seem tired and weak all the time. Again, these changes in appearance can be signs of depression or other health problems, as well as drug use. In either case, your child needs help.
Another sign of drug use is in a change in your child’s general personality and daily habits. Teens, especially, have some wild mood swings, so don’t be alarmed if they go through occasional short, mild spells of different behavior, but you should heed an overall, sustained change in your child’s usual behavior patterns. If your child is usually energetic, outgoing, happy, and talkative, you may observe that he or she has become withdrawn, quiet, sleepy, listless, and grumpy. Another child who is normally laid-back and quiet, may become irritable and aggressive. If a child is using drugs on a regular basis, changes in appearance and behavior will last over time. They may start to sleep a lot more than they used to or start to stay awake all night. Teens have been known to sleep 10 hours a day or more, and to stay up all night, so the important thing to know is which pattern in normal for your child. Children using drugs may become apathetic about things that used to be important to them. They may no longer show any interest in their appearance, sports, friends, school, or other things they formerly enjoyed. Drug use may also cause a child to change eating habits and either lose or gain a lot of weight. They may develop chronic constipation or diarrhea, and just seem tired and lethargic all the time. The may have trouble remembering things and forget something you told them just a few minutes earlier.
If a child uses drugs occasionally, you will notice unusual behavior one day, and then find that your child is back to his or her normal behavior patterns the next day. They may have episodes in which they become angry, argumentative, and irrational. A usually calm child may suddenly seem jumpy, hyper and behave erratically. You may notice that they can’t concentrate, they don’t make eye contact when talking to you, they may be unable to carry on a coherent conversation, or they are unable to stay awake during the day. Some drugs will make the user giggle a lot and find everything humorous. They may also get the “munchies,” which means they will suddenly want to eat everything they can get their hands on. Remember that irrational behavior and bursts of hunger are normal for teens from time to time. You want to look for episodes that happen more often, especially after they have been out with friends or off alone, when they would have the opportunity to use drugs.
It is also important to know what your child is doing throughout the day and who your child is with. As children get older, you cannot monitor them 24 hours a day, but you can ask them where they are going, who they will be with, and require them to call and check in with you at certain times. It’s not unreasonable to expect your child to earn your trust. If they are not where they say they will be, with the people they said they would be with, then you have a right to be suspicious. Get to know your child’s friends and encourage them to hang out at your house at least once in a while, so you can see what kind of people they are. Especially pay attention if you child suddenly changes his or her group of friends, from a group of kids who were well-behaved to a group you have doubts about. If your child’s friends show the signs in appearance and behavior that may indicate they use drugs, then you have cause for concern. Especially notice if your children and their friends seem overly secretive, as if they’re hiding what their activities from you. Do they stop talking when you enter the room? Do they always prefer being together someplace remote, where you can’t see what they’re doing? If you walk by the room they’re in, do they shuffle around hiding things and seem anxious for you to leave? Don’t become immediately suspicious if your children want some privacy and want to talk alone with their friends, but if they seem overly concerned about your not knowing their activities, they probably have something to hide.
Perhaps the most difficult thing for parents to do is to judge their child’s overall character. Do you catch your child in lies? It may happen that your child will say he or she will be one place, with certain people, and you find out later that it wasn’t true. The usual excuse teens will give is that their plans suddenly changed. If you believe you have reason for concern, you may want to require that they call you when their plans change. It is a good policy for their own safety, and a way to establish their trustworthiness. You may start to catch your child in lies about school, homework, and things they have done.
They may tell one story about something that happened and then a few days later tell a different version. You will also want to watch how your child spends his or her money. Do they seem broke all the time, even though they get an allowance or have a job? Do you often find that money is missing from your wallet? Have a lot of small things come up missing, such as jewelry, electronic gadgets, coin collections? Have your child’s personal possessions started to disappear? While it’s natural to misplace things, you should worry if a lot of possessions are getting lost lately. Your child may be selling them to buy drugs. You don’t want to suspect every lapse of memory and misplaced item, but if you see a continuing pattern, or something extremely valuable is missing, you should talk with your child. Try not to accuse them right away, but merely to request information. They may act terribly offended when you ask them where their possessions have gone or why they have told two versions of the same event. However, if they cannot give a reasonable explanation, you should be concerned. Do not accept, “I don’t know” or “I forgot” as an answer. If they can’t account for their actions and belongs, they may not be worthy of the trust and privacy you have afforded them.
It is normal for children to go through changes in appearance, personality, and habits as they grow and have isolated incidents of strange behavior. What you want to watch for are behaviors that are completely uncharacteristic for your child and that happen with increasing frequency. Look for a combination of the different signs of drug use. Remember that these indications could be signs that your child is using drugs or could be signs of other problems. Whatever is wrong, your child needs help.
