The arrival of a new baby creates lots of excitement for family and friends. If you have other children, they may sometimes feel a little left out after their new brother or sister comes home. While your newborn will need a lot of your attention, you mustn’t forget that your other children, no matter what their ages, still need you, too.
How you help your children adjust to the arrival of a new baby into the family depends a lot on what ages they are. If you have a toddler, he will more than likely be a little confused as to what exactly is going on. He may look at the newborn and wonder how long the baby is staying. He may also feel a little jealous. After all, he was your baby before this new baby appeared.
No matter how diligently you tried to prepare your toddler for his or her new role as older brother or sister, he or she will still need a lot of extra attention. Of course, everyone will want to spend time with and visit the new baby, and they will probably come bearing gifts. Some friends and relatives will remember to bring something for your toddler, too. Just in case they don’t, however, you need to have a few small surprises that are wrapped and stashed somewhere in the house. When the new baby receives a gift, you can pull out a gift for your toddler. These gifts don’t have to be expensive. Books, colors, blocks, and other small toys can be purchased at a dollar store. You can also let your little one help open the baby’s presents.
Although your baby will need to be held a lot, you can still spend time with your toddler. If you are nursing or feeding the baby, let your toddler sit beside you so you can look at a book together. Encourage your toddler to “feed and diaper” his own baby or stuffed animal. Although you will have to teach your toddler to be careful handling the baby, try not to continuously criticize or scold him. Instead, praise him when he is gentle and sweet with the baby. Distract him with toys or books if he gets too excited around your newborn. With time and encouragement, he’ll learn to love his baby brother or sister, too.
Older children may experience a different type of jealousy. When you first come home from the hospital, you will need to rest. This may mean that you have to miss out on some of your older child’s activities. Be sure and spend time talking to her about how she spent her day. Reassure her that you will be able to go and do things with her soon. Encourage her to help with the baby. Don’t worry if she doesn’t do things exactly the way you would like. She needs to feel that she is needed. She doesn’t need to feel that she is only in the way.
If your child is accustomed to having friends over to play, you don’t want to limit that just because a new baby is in the house. You don’t want to create reasons for your child to resent her younger brother or sister. If you are worried about the baby waking up, it might be a good idea to place a fan or some other “white noise” maker in the nursery. However, your baby should not need total silence to go to sleep. So, go ahead and let your child have her friends over to play. Of course, if they are extremely loud, you can ask them to play a little quieter until the baby wakes up.
If you have teenagers, their main concern about a new addition in the family will be how this new arrival will affect them. Try to keep their daily lives and activities as normal as possible. The only difference will be that you have someone else to tag along with you. Babies can adjust to just about anything. If your teen is involved in sports, band, chorus, and other extracurricular activities, go ahead and bring your baby along.
Of course the arrival of a new baby will take a period of adjustment for everyone. You will feel torn at times between the new baby and your other children, and this is natural. You can’t please everyone all of the time, and you need to remember this. However, if you continue to spend quality time with your children, they will soon come to love their new brother or sister just as much as you do.
