Sibling rivalry is a common problem in most every family. Brothers and sisters can be the best of friends one minute and fighting the next minute. Although this behavior is quite normal, it’s frustrating for parents and even the children involved in the skirmishes.
There are several steps parents and caregivers can take to stop battles before they begin. Many times children argue and fight to get attention they otherwise aren’t getting. Bad attention is better than no attention at all. They nit pick at brothers or sisters, often to get a reaction from mom and dad. Look for signs that the kids are starting to get on one another’s nerves. When the bickering begins, put a stop to it as soon as possible. Create a diversion by giving the kids positive attention. Ask them what they did in school, or encourage them to talk about something they enjoy. Often positive communication is enough to stop the trouble before it begins.
Other times children have justifiable reasons for their anger. When people live in close contact day after day, they are naturally going to have disputes. Communication again is a way to alleviate or even stop sibling rivalry. Give each child time to say whatever is on his or her mind. Keep the conversation controlled and polite. Encourage the kids to find a positive means of communication. Allow them to vent their cares and concerns in a controlled environment. Ignoring the bickering will only increase the friction. Children who are not being heard will only speak louder.
So, what do you do if communication completely breaks down and nothing has been solved? Send the kids to separate areas of the home. Place them in time-out until they feel they can talk about their differences in a civil manner. If the kids are quite young, have them stay in their time-out area one minute for every year of their age. This is a good rule of thumb to follow when a time-out becomes necessary. Sometimes all it takes is a cooling off period to allow siblings to think about the situation at hand. They will often realize the consequences of their words and actions all on their own. They need to be reminded to treat others the way they want to be treated.
Siblings who argue and fight aren’t always close in age. Quite often older children will bicker with younger children. Younger kids want to do much of the same things older children do. They only want to be included. Older children are often annoyed by the younger ones. They may seem mature enough to avoid a fight, but that isn’t always the case. In reality, they lack the maturity to know how to deal with younger siblings. Work with older kids to teach them ways of dealing with their younger counterparts. On the other hand, younger siblings should be made to understand that other family members need their own private space. Teaching this at an early age will help children to be more caring and considerate regarding the feelings of others. This is a valuable lesson that will help them grow as thoughtful individuals throughout their entire life.
