Goals and setting them are an important part of life, for anyone of any age, but children even more so. They can teach a child that work is oftentimes rewarded. Helping a child set goals and to strive to meet those goals will help build a foundation that will carry that child into adulthood with an understanding of how life works. It will also show them that failure does happen, and that it is a part of life.
Smart goal setting for children should be approached with the help from an adult in a manner that will allow the child to succeed if able, and to show them what happened, if the outcome of their goal is not met.
Discussion
Talking to the child has to be the first step in any goal planning session. Knowing what a child truly wants the outcome of a situation to be is necessary to help them reach for their goal. Oftentimes, a child will not be clearly focused themselves on what their goal is, and that is where you, as the parent, or significant adult, can be of purpose. Ask them questions that may or may not have yes and no answers, questions that can bring a discussion of the goal into the open, helping to define the goal. If the goal they are reaching for is obviously not going to be accomplished, do not make a statement to that fact, but ask them to define how they think they are going to reach it. By having them examine their goal more clearly, they will usually be able to recognize that the original goal was possibly too far fetched, and they will be able to reassess it themselves.
If their goals are not really goals, but more along the way of minor steps, be patient above all else, and using the same question technique above, try to draw them out through discussion on what they would like to do after that step is met. Working through these systematic ideas will many times grow into actual goals.
Also important to the discussion of the goals is to find out what the child actually perceives the reaching of the goals will mean. Do they realize that oftentimes the goal itself is the only reward?
Chart
Kids are visual by nature. Help them create a chart that they can refer to that defines their goals. One rule for older kids; the chart HAS to be easy to alter. A dry-erase board is perfect for this. Providing an alterable chart is not meant to make it easy for them to back away from their goals, but to make it easy for them to ‘add’ to their goals. Small children can also benefit from a time tested goal marker, stars! A simple chart that can mark goals being met with stars, or other desired stickers, is a simple, but effective way to identify that the goals are being met.
Age Appropriate and Individualism
If you are dealing with more than one child, as with anything where children are concerned, do not assume that just because it worked for one child, that it will necessarily work for another child. Each child will most likely have a very different approach to attaining goals. Some may be more determined to reach goals that are identified, while others will just not appear to show any effort at all for even some of the most mundane goals set down. Be patient, provide guidance, and give encouragement to each child in the manner in which they are most receptive.
By Example
If getting your child to set and reach for goals just does not seem to be working, try to show them by example how setting goals can be beneficial. Set a somewhat simple goal for yourself, such as not answering the phone during mealtime by turning the ringer off, and then sticking with it. Use this quiet time at dinner to talk about how this simple to do action created time. For a smaller child, set up matching goals, such as tooth brushing charts, that can be visually compared by the child as the chart progresses. Consistently brush your teeth, applying stickers to your chart when you do. Your child will quickly understand the idea behind setting a simple goal.
