If the years of a child’s life are like traveling down a busy street, then 7th grade is the junction. What was a pleasant, or at least uncomplicated, ride before this trying year becomes fraught with new decisions and changes, welcome or otherwise. Pre-Algebra gives your child the first hint of college and with it, college prep stress. This age is the beginning of the teen years, perhaps the most turbulent phase of life. The physical changes your child is going through may overwhelm and embarrass him or her. Suddenly, your child is obsessed with being cool and popular, rather than just doing something natural to him or her. These changes can cause a lot of emotional insecurity which, in turn, can result in forgetfulness and disorganization in schoolwork. The following tips will help you and your 7th grader navigate the tough journey ahead.
First, it is important to teach your children to take school seriously. The seventh grade is a critical time academically for a child, when courses become more challenging and geared toward high school and beyond. It is very important that your child not miss school unless it is absolutely necessary. Appointments should be made for after school hours. This teaches the child to treat school as if it were his or her job. If your 7th grader sees that you take school seriously, he or she will follow your example.
In addition, children should learn to be pro-active and take the initiative in their learning. A lot of new and complex material is introduced to 7th graders, and it is easy for them to let it fly over their heads without raising their hands when they need to. This is also a time of social anxiety and of self-consciousness which may make it difficult and embarrassing for a 7th grader to ask questions. Your child should be encouraged not to be afraid to ask the teacher for help. If he or she is very self-conscious, there can perhaps be time set aside after class or after school to work with a teacher individually. If your 7th grader does not get along well with his or her teacher, encourage him or her to ask for assistance from a student who is successful in the subject before hiring a tutor. This will teach your child to become self-motivated and less shy about asking for help.
Another idea is to assist your child in organizing a weekly study group for the kids in the class who want to review challenging subject matter. Parents can alternate hosting these sessions in their homes, or kids can meet at the school library. Remember that the more the parent is involved in school, the more children feel that school is important. Go through your child’s homework nightly, if possible, even if this means investing only a few minutes. If it is a subject matter that gave you headaches in school, ask your child to “teach” you the subject matter, as if he or she is the teacher and you are the student. Nothing solidifies knowledge more than teaching a subject to someone else.
Remember that while it is important to encourage your child to have a purpose for his or her studies and to think about high school and college, as a parent, you should also be realistic about your goals for your child. If your 7th grader is simply not comprehending the principles of Pre-Algebra, and if tutoring doesn’t seem to be helping, do not be afraid to pull him or her out of the fast track and to allow your child to prepare ahead for the following year without pressure. Many people have gone to excellent colleges without having taken Pre-Algebra in the 7th grade, and pushing your child into a course for which he or she is not prepared may create a mental block that can last for years. Better a slower pace and more solid knowledge than slavishly adhering to an overly ambitious schedule which will intimidate your child.
For some reason, 7th grade is the time of “lost” homework. Perhaps these students have so much on their minds—from new academic pressures to raging hormones; even the most focused kids often become absent-minded at this age. Kick organization into high gear, and let your 7th grader know that school is important. Invest in file folders which have the best and most sturdy pockets. Encourage your child to plan his or her day in writing, and check to see that all of the assignments are written down and checked off. Papers should be well organized at home (you can also be a good example for your child). Study time should be supervised, homework checked, at least to make sure that it is done. A few minutes of television could be a reward for a job well done instead of a mainstay, or something fun to do after school. This might mean acting like your child’s secretary at times, but this will only be temporary until your child establishes good organizational habits.
With new challenges come new insecurities and 7th graders can tend to project these insecurities onto other children in the form of teasing, which has a particularly vicious edge at this age, since kids are especially vulnerable. If your 7th grader comes home upset about teasing, the best way to help him or her is to lend them some of your perspective. It is difficult for kids at this age to see things in the long term, but it might be useful to remind them that this is a passing phase, and that perhaps you went through the same thing. Then again, the response to “this too shall pass” philosophy might be “How will knowing that help me now?” In this case, communicate the message from your child’s point of view. “Do you remember that when you were nine you were upset about X?”
“Yes”
“Well, are you still upset about X?”
Your child says “No”.
“So in a while, this problem will not mean anything to you at all.”
At the very least, be a listening ear for your child, even if advice doesn’t seem very welcome. Encourage them to see the humor in situations and not to take themselves too seriously, but, at the same time, make it clear that you take them very seriously, and avoid trying to teach them this principle by laughing about their problems when they can’t even manage a smile.
Finally, a lot of children this age want to be cool, suave and independent. It is like another version of the terrible twos when a child wants to prove that he or she can walk alone and violently resists all assistance. However reluctant your 7th grader may be to admit this, he or she craves affection from Mom or Dad, so give your kid plenty of hugs to reinforce your positive messages.
