We've all heard the story about George Washington's chopping down a cherry tree. When confronted, he said, "I cannot tell a lie." If only all children were as honest!
Parents often emphasize honesty as a desirable character trait for kids to develop. Prone to shortcuts, failures, and temptations, many children will resort to an occasional untruth, or the proverbial little "white lie." If you could use some help in training your child in truthfulness, here are a few suggestions:
1. Make your expectation of honesty clear. Talk about truth as a matter of fact goal. Let kids know how they will be disciplined for hiding the truth. Nurture honesty as a desirable character trait. Kids should understand that they are expected to be honest at all times.
2. Model honest behavior. Don't tell lies, avoid the truth, or misrepresent the facts. Kids are very good at spotting a phony. Report your taxes accurately. Don't lie to the officer who pulls you over for speeding. Avoid telling the kids to say you're not home when someone calls that you don't care to speak with. The truth matters in small things as well as large ones. Set a faithful example in telling the truth to everyone. Your kids will likely follow in your footsteps.
3. Reward honesty. When your kids come clean in a difficult situation, praise them for making the right choice. Stick up for them if others criticize something for which the kids are honest. If they make a sensitive confession, respond to it with dignity and honor. If they resort to subterfuge, tell them firmly and perhaps sadly how disappointed you are.
4. Use media examples. Keep an eye on news stories that report deception, trickery, or other forms of public or professional dishonesty. Share these with children at dinner or in the evening. Ask how they would handle a situation like the one in the news story. Show how a lack of honesty in the real world can lead to a loss of reputation and perhaps result in a prison sentence.
5. Emphasize honesty in kids' films and programs. Watch a television show or a video with your children and point out the consequences of honest versus dishonest behavior. Chances are the film will show that untruthfulness does not pay. Discuss the ways in which you have been tempted to dishonesty, and if you gave in, what happened. Before long, the children may start pointing out dishonest actions in the films they watch.
6. Consider getting your kids a book of virtues for children or teens. Encourage them to read the book alone, or go through it with, chapter by chapter, discussing the value of each quality that is described. Point out how the world would be if everyone lied about their circumstances.
Teaching truth is difficult in a day when even world leaders hide the truth from millions of people living in their countries. Make honesty a principle to live by, and watch for opportunities to live and share this valuable trait with your kids.
