Today’s teenagers are dating earlier than ever before. It’s not unusual for thirteen-year-olds to go out with older teens as a couple or with a group. The consequences of this trend include negative outcomes. Young teenagers can become pregnant, get a sexually transmitted disease, or become emotionally scarred after several years of aimless dating.
If you are the parent of a teen and wonder when he or she should start dating others of the opposite sex, here are some things to keep in mind:
1. Sixteen is a traditional dating age. Without rhyme or reason, several recent generations have designated the age of sixteen as the best time to let their children begin dating. Like other milestones, sixteen suggests a middle ground between adolescence and adulthood. Going out with others of around the same age helps teens begin to get a sense of the type of life partner they will eventually choose. Since many sixteen-year-olds can drive a car, dating is often viewed as a commensurate activity.
2. Gauge your teen’s maturity. Whatever your teen’s age, look for indicators that he or she is ready to handle the added responsibility of dating. Going out with another person alone implies that the two can be responsible for themselves without parental assistance and even responsible, in part, for the other person. If your child can handle schoolwork, driving duties, and housework on more or less an even keel, it may be time to add dating to the mix. Then, if something falls short, it can be put on hold for a time.
3. Is your teen emotionally stable? If your son or daughter seems to be adjusting to adolescence, is not rebellious, gets along with friends, and is respectful to parents, encouraging the development of additional friendships through dating may be appropriate. But teens that are withdrawn, attracted to destructive images or ideas, disrespectful to authorities, or exhibit other alarming behaviors should wait to date until their emotions become more socialized and adjusted.
4. Can you trust your teen? Kids that are trustworthy and honest often earn additional privileges like dating, especially when it involves the use of the family car. If your child comes home when he should, or keeps her word, or has friends who are good role models, she may be ready to manage a dating relationship as well. But if you catch your teen in frequent lies, if she says she’s staying with a friend and you call but she’s not there, or if she doesn’t follow through on promises, she is not ready to add dating to the list of things she is learning to handle.
5. Does your area have a curfew? If the neighborhood or town you live in enforces a teen curfew, that may have a bearing on the type of dating your teen will be able to do. For example, an eleven o’clock curfew means a date must be dropped off in time for your teen to get home by eleven. That may limit the amount or length of time spent with a date. Find out in advance before your teen starts going out with friends or a date.
Dating is a rather new social phenomenon of the twentieth century. As it continues to evolve, make sure your teen and you are aware of the contemporary types of dating that occur before you give permission for your teen to take part.
