A young person’s decision to become a vegetarian generally comes without any prior warning. “I don’t want to eat meat anymore,” they’ll suddenly announce just as you’re about to carve into the Thanksgiving turkey in front of a room full of relatives. Do you ignore it? Do you plead? Do you threaten to cut off their allowance unless they come to their senses?
How you handle your child’s rebellion against certain foods—especially meat products— depends in large part on two factors: (1) how old are they and (2) what’s the reason behind it?
What often governs a young person’s choices is the pressure to be just like their friends. Through childhood and into their teens, they are actively engaged in trying on different hats to see which ones offer the best fit. With what is said of imitation being the most sincere form of flattery, it’s entirely likely that someone in their immediate circle of friends has just become a vegetarian and given it a green light to his or her peers as a measurement of “cool”. As a parent, your criticism of new behaviors such as this will only succeed in further fueling their continuance. You should also know your offspring well enough to recognize when something is just a phase and, based on past observation, be able to estimate how long it’s going to last before a new habit takes it place.
With much younger children, there’s a distinction that needs to be made between making conscious decisions about what they’re putting in their mouths versus just being fussy eaters. Children are mercurial in their reactions to the world around them; what holds their attention one day could be the very thing they find boring in the next. The same holds true with food. Don’t rule out the influence of siblings and playmates, either. If your older brother told you something totally gross about the hamburger you were about to eat, it could turn you off to hamburgers for life even though the story had absolutely no basis in fact. I recall, for instance, the occasion of observing two little girls watching the “Bambi” video and the older one casually remarking that they were going to eat Bambi’s mother for dinner. To this day, the younger one is still a vegetarian.
When it comes to animals, of course, kids of all ages are passionate in their level of love and caring. Many of them decide to give up meat as a way of protesting what they feel are inhumane conditions of raising animals for human consumption. Certainly no one can fault them for wanting to take a stand through what is sometimes the only way their age allows them to: switching to foods that don’t have eyes or feelings. A parent needs to be sensitive to and respectful of this choice for the platform it represents in extending kindness and compassion to all living beings. In concert with this are young people who are exploring their spiritual beliefs as well and embracing philosophies that espouse a meat-free life as a more enlightened one.
A young person concerned about his or her weight may decide that switching to salads and veggies is the fastest way to combat the results of the bathroom scale. In this case, it may be more practical to examine whether simply eating less or exercising more will accomplish their weight loss goals. Don’t hesitate to consult your family doctor before inviting or allowing drastic changes, especially if you believe that your teen or tween’s sudden obsession with body image could have psychological origins.
If your child announces he or she wants to be a vegetarian, it’s important that the two of you discuss what being a vegetarian is all about (i.e., “No, it doesn’t mean that you can live on cupcakes and potato chips”). There are many people who label themselves as vegetarians just because they have eliminated red meat from their diets. This has not, however, curtailed their regular enjoyment of chicken, pork and different kinds of seafood. At the opposite end of the scale are true vegans who will only eat grains and plants. In between are individuals who define their adherence to vegetarian dining by whether they include egg and dairy products in their recipes.
It’s important to impress upon your young person that a switch to vegetarianism should not be at the expense of missing out on the essential vitamins, minerals and nutrients that their bodies need in order to stay healthy. This may require them to take a multivitamin supplement to ensure they are getting everything necessary for continued growth and development.
If vegetarianism is new territory for you, enlist the advice of a pediatrician to guide both of you through recommended diets and health regimens. Check out books at your local library or troll the Internet together in search of articles and studies that will enhance your joint knowledge of this type of eating. As a show of support, family members will often include at least one vegetarian meal a week that everyone can enjoy together. The rest of the time, the young vegetarians (depending on their age) should be encouraged to participate in meal preparation.
When dining out, parents can take heart in the fact that many restaurants now offer vegetarian fare. (If in doubt, call ahead before you go.) It’s also important that relatives be made aware of this change in your young person’s eating habits and not try to force them back into the fold. This may, of course, require you to prepare a separate vegan meal and bring it along to the next holiday dinner. The extra work, however, is a priceless tradeoff when it comes to showing your child that you respect his or her decisions.
