Perspectives on the positives and negatives of forgiving a cheating lover.
Not every relationship can endure the pain of infidelity, but the strength and resolve of both partners in rebuilding the foundations of love, trust, and respect through open communications can certainly be accomplished with a sincere effort.Of course, there are cons in contrast with the pros of forgiving infidelity; consider the consequences of the positives and the negative results of each major aspect in a relationship.
By comparison, it is vital that both parties communicate their feelings, their fears, and any angst with each other in order to quell any lingering doubts or hurt feelings. Sincerity in communication instills a sense of openness with one another in the healing relationship, and for many years afterwards.
Of course, forgiveness may be at the forefront of the spoken word, yet if it is not sincere from the heart or the mind, rest assured the relationship will falter.When continuing mistrust in the relationship is evident, that same relationship is most likely in an irretrievable state of dysfunction. Both partners live with the hostility, anger, frustration, and in an emotional state that mistrust creates, thus removing nearly all potential for true reconciliation.
In contrast, true forgiveness is one of the most difficult aspects of the act of forgiveness, but if both partners are willing to learn, forgive, and trust again, the relationship can continue to evolve towards the positive.
While the common bonds of love and adoration are weakened, or even non-existent, the result is essentially a non-committal relationship that is quite literally, "hanging by a thread" at any given time.Both partners are driven apart and considerably miserable. The insincere commitment to the relationship paves the way to the possibility of infidelity occurring again and sometimes results in the act of infidelity by not only one partner, but by both partners.The weakened character and strength of resolve motivates the potential for future infidelities due in part to the dissatisfaction of emotional and/or physical needs of both partners.
An honest attempt at forgiveness renews the commitment to the relationship through a common bond of love and adoration. It reflects a reestablished strength in character for both partners, as well as strengthens the previously weakened ties with one another.Further, it establishes clarity on both partner's emotional stances, as well as satisfies the physical aspects of a renewed bond.
With forgiveness from the offended partner reflecting only the spoken word, a relationship will continue to suffer if respect is not garnered. The offended partner is probably emotionally traumatized and his or her respect for the other wanes on zero.Hostilities abound and the slighted partner will inflict this lack of respect in many ways, such as demeaning commentary, name calling, and sometimes transfer that disrespect to the bedroom in retaliation, attacking the sexual prowess of the other partner. No two people can live together or survive the conscious or subconscious verbal abuse with the relationship suffering to the point of failure.
By far, respect is the core of any relationship.Reestablishing this vital aspect is fundamental to the ongoing health and positive nature of not only an injured relationship, but the resolve of a renewed bond.
Infidelity removes any sense of harmony in a relationship, but even more detrimental is the effect it has when children are involved.Statistics from therapists reflect that a nurturing, loving, and strong bond between family members through forgiveness and a solid commitment to the relationship will keep a family with children in tact.This commitment is one of the most wonderful gifts parents can give their children and ensures they will grow up in an environment conducive to their future families with an emotionally healthy outlook.Keep in mind that if the resolve to forgiveness is not heartfelt, it can have quite the opposite effect and result in emotional harm.
Infidelity creates an unhealthy and non-nurturing atmosphere for children, especially if the relationship has degraded to a volatile status.The act of infidelity may also cause emotional harm and confusion to young children, as well as adult children, when they secretively or outwardly know of the parental conflict.In some cases, children may also be subject to knowing the other parent is having an affair, creating even more familial conflict through guilt, anger, and emotional angst simply by being forced to "keep a secret" from the other parent.The end result is commonly the epitome of spousal or familial dysfunction and will typically require the ongoing assistance of a qualified professional therapist to counteract the negative environment and the potential emotional fallout.
Lastly, do remember, that no matter how much pain a relationship has suffered, the fundamental core of love, trust, respect, open communication, and sincerity may render it to an emotionally healthy level, while the lack of the relationship core may simply translate to one that that is irretrievably broken.True forgiveness is key to working through the emotional trauma of infidelity.
