Where Has The Fun Gone In Life?

Where has the fun gone in life? Are you working harder and enjoying it less? Has fun escaped your career, job or relationship, and been replaced with stress, frustration, disappointment and anxiety? You...

Are you working harder and enjoying it less? Has fun escaped your career, job or relationship, and been replaced with stress, frustration, disappointment and anxiety?

You are not alone. Thousands, maybe even millions of people are asking themselves today, where has the fun gone?

There is a subtle, yet powerful principle at work here that must be recognized. In essence, the principle is: fun, joy, peace, excitement, challenge, or whatever, is not a characteristic of the job, career or relationship, but a reflection of you and how you react to the situation. The fun hasn't left the job, relationship or career, it has left you.

If you will carefully examine your previous situation, when the fun was there, I am confident you will find that the problems, circumstances, opportunities that are present today were most likely present before. What has changed is you.

The real question is not how do we put the fun back into the job or career, but how do we put the fun back in you?

Let's talk about two issues that might have changed and what could have been some contributors to your changed attitudes. After we dissect these, lets look at a twelve step process to put the missing ingredients back in your life.

You must first accept the premise that your outcomes are your responsibility or the balance of this article will be of little value to you. You can plug any example you choose into the following discussion. For example, you can use your job, career, a current relationship, a hobby or an activity. Select one or more of the following to use as your guide; fun, passion, excitement, enthusiasm, challenge, interest, satisfaction, peace, balance, joy and so on.

On to the heart of the matter. First, what has changed?

Has your outlook changed?
Have your goals changed?
Have your perceptions changed?
Has your environment changed?
Have your values changed?
Have your expectations changed?
Have your interests changed?
Have your opinions changed?
Has your life philosophy changed?
Have the demands on you changed?
Have your interpretations changed?
Have your hopes, dreams or desires changed?
Have your communication patterns changed?
Has your lifestyle changed?

Second, what were the prevailing causes or contributors to these changes?

Have you had a recent life changing event?
Has the simple fact of growing older had an impact on your thought patterns or attitudes?
Have other's expectations for you been altered in any way?
Have the rapid changes affected you in some emotional way?
Have you felt an ever increasing amount of frustration, guilt, anxiety, resentment, doubt, discouragement or fear?

Both lists could be expanded even further but I am sure I have given you enough examples to trigger your thinking process, to examine the effects and causes of the loss of fun, joy or passion that you once knew or experienced in your career or relationship.

Let me share a twelve step process with you that can help put the fun back in the life where you have lost it.

You must really want to get the fun back. If you have lost the desire to make it work, don't bother with the following exercises. It will be a total waste of your time and energy. Better to spend your time in the search for a new career, job or relationship. Trying through effort or sheer will to make it work when your real intent is elsewhere is a useless exercise.

These twelve steps won't work unless you work on them. If you find you are losing interest in executing any of the steps, it might be a subtle signal that you are really ready to move on and trying to begin again. They are not a magic formula but a systematic way of looking at your life's goals, mission or purpose.

Step one. Define or describe in writing what you feel is missing in your life, career, job or relationship. Be specific. Spend a great deal of time on this step. Resist the tendency to go on to step two. This step is the foundation for your success in later steps. Shortchange yourself here and you will shortchange the entire process. Examine every possible career, relationship etc. symptom, cause, problem, feeling, issue, frustration, reason or stimulus. This step could take hours even days but the time is necessary and you will learn a great deal about the root of your current problem if you will persist. You must be critically honest and objective. You must write until you have penetrated beyond the shell protected by your ego.

Step two. Describe what in your past made you more excited, passionate, joyous, fulfilled, enthusiastic etc. What were its challenges, problems and opportunities?

Step three. Spend time comparing your thoughts, feelings and attitudes, expectations, outcomes and emotions of the two situations.

Step four. Summarize each step write a paragraph that represents an accurate assessment of the two stages of your life.

Step five. Ask yourself, do you still want to put the effort, time and resources into regaining the earlier environment or after all of this work, have you decided to let it go and move on. This is the mid-course reality check, before the real work begins. If your answer is yes, move on to step six. If not, bag the process.

Step six. Break down the answer to step one into the following categories and put each category on a separate page: symptoms, causes, feelings, other.

Step seven. Prioritize the items on each page according to their importance.

Step eight. Repeat steps six and seven with the answers from step two.

Step nine. Develop a list of action steps you can take to bring the earlier emotions or
feelings back into the present.

Step ten. Determine the roadblocks or problems in implementing these action steps.

Step eleven. Identify the rewards or benefits you will get if you overcome the problems and achieve success.

Step twelve. Put your plan into action. Begin working on the first action you established in step nine.

Keep in mind this entire process could take several weeks. Don't try to rush through the steps on the way to the finish line. The value is in the process of self-discovery and not your arrival at some pre-planned destination.

© High Speed Ventures 2011