How To Get A Girlfriend Vs How To Get A Wife

Whether you want a girlfriend or a wife, knowing what you want will help you understand how to get it.

You clicked on the link for this article, so chances are you are looking for a change in your relationships.Perhaps you're tired of the dating-go-round and ready to settle into a long-term relationship with someone whose goals match yours.The dating scene can be a surprisingly stark and lonely scene after a while, and it's no wonder that your heart starts longing for something a little different, a little more meaningful.

Imagine, for a moment, that you're out looking for a car.Maybe new, maybe used, but you know you want something that will be reliable""something that will be around for a long time.You want something sharp, but not too racy.You want something sporty and fun, but still practical.You want something dependable, comfortable, and"¦ well, something that is YOU, not what people think you should be.If this is where you are now in your dating life""looking for someone to complement you without a competition, to encourage you without expecting you to be who you aren't, and to be there with you even through the rough times""you don't need a girlfriend any more.You want a wife.If you want the race car, or the speedster that corners like crazy and stops on a dime, or the monster truck that is so huge that it could not possibly be maintained long-term""you probably will want to stick to the girlfriend.You aren't ready for a wife, and there's no shame in admitting that and being honest about who you are.Honesty is far more respectable than pretension!

First, think about yourself and what you want out of a relationship.Until you know and understand yourself, it will be impossible for anyone else, girlfriend OR wife, to truly know or understand you.A few things to consider are: goals and priorities, how you define compatibility, and your personality style.What are your short-term goals for your life?Do you want to finish school, or maybe land a better job?Are you trying to get a new business off the ground, or maybe pay off some debt?What about your long-term goals?Where do you see yourself in 5 years?10 years?25 years?Think about the kind of relationship that would fit nicely with your short-term goals.Then, remember your long-term goals even now.Are the kinds of relationships you're having going to help you or hurt you years down the line?

Merriam-Webster defines "compatible" as "capable of existing together in harmony."How do you define it?Are you looking for someone to complement you, without duplicating you?Are you looking for someone with similar interests, and with whom you could do lots of fun stuff?Maybe you're looking for someone very different, who could challenge you and introduce you to new ideas and activities.Maybe you aren't picky at all""as long as it's someone who is willing to work on the relationship and who has similar goals for family life.However you define compatibility, keep this in mind whether you are looking for a girlfriend or wife.Someone who is looking for no-strings-attached might not be the best candidate for a wife, just as someone looking for commitment won't be the best girlfriend, at least not for any extended period of time.

What about your personality style?Are you an outgoing fellow who loves being around others?Maybe you're an outdoorsy, jock type.Or perhaps you're a coffee-house, bookworm type who loves to read and listen to jazz.Whatever your type, think about whether or not you can see your potential partner fitting in to that picture.

Now that you've taken a good look at yourself and what you're looking for, turn your attention to HOW you're going to get that match.Let's go back to our original metaphor""the car hunt!

1. Speed vs. Distance.Girlfriends often enjoy the fast-paced, spontaneous life of dating.There's less commitment, more surprise, and more independence than something more serious.Still, if you want to KEEP this girlfriend for more than a date or two, a little accountability goes a long way.Check in with her if plans change, and give her the respect and freedom she wants.If you're looking for distance, you'll want to find a partner that is willing (and able) to go the distance with and for you.She may not be the one that jumps right in, no holds barred, on the first date, but she'll be the one who is there for you when everyone else has left.For the future wife, you'll want to take things slowly, giving her the space and freedom to truly develop a deep friendship with you.Genuine trust and friendship are musts for a long-term relationship.Only then will your future wife be able to enjoy the healthy spontaneity and fun that brings marriage its spice!

2. Intriguing vs. Sleek.If you're hung up on finding someone who could be on the cover of Cosmo, you definitely aren't looking for long-term.Maybe you'll find a wife who fits that description, and maybe she'll age gracefully into a finely-aged diva.However, if you're hung up on looks, you run the risk of disappointment down the line.Find someone whose stunning eyes pull you in, or whose beautiful smile mesmerizes, and you'll always be charmed by the little features that make your partner special.

3.Sharp vs. Racy.Men who are ready for long-term commitment get subtlety.They understand that the sexiest woman isn't always the one who shows that most skin, and they know that a look, a gentle touch, or a light kiss can often convey more sensuality than more blatant gestures.They appreciate these hints from their partners, and they remember to offer them as well!Long-term ladies often bemoan the lack of romance in their relationships.Remember that subtlety can be a husband's greatest romantic asset""it will help you in the long run!

4. Comfortable vs. Trendy.These two aren't incompatible""don't misunderstand.Just know that trendy may last for the long run, but only if it is comfortable, too.If you don't feel comfortable being yourself, comfortable sharing your secrets, and comfortable imagining the future, the relationship might not be long-term.Find someone you feel at home with, and then remember to be yourself.Pretending to be someone else might be fun for a while, and it might bring women into your life who might otherwise not find you, but it will get old quickly!If a façade helps you find a girlfriend, great!It won't keep her as your wife.If you're looking for a wife, don't start any pretensions that you don't want or plan to keep up long term.

All women want respect.They want to be cherished and adored, and to have fun and meaningful relationships.These things are important, no matter what you are looking for in a relationship.Still, knowing who you are and what you want out of life, you can find the girlfriend or wife of your dreams!

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