This is an article which focuses on five positive steps parents can take to have a healthy relationship with their child's school.
One of the most complex relationships we can have is to be the parent of a school-aged child. And I'm not talking about the relationship with our child, but with the school he or she attends. Parents and teachers frequently find themselves in an adversarial relationship""practically a "turf war" over the education of a child. While in a good parent-school relationship, everybody wins, especially the child, a bad relationship produces only one real loser, the student caught between angry, frustrated adults.
The relationship you have with your student's school is largely up to you. If you find yourself beginning sentences with "They" or referring to "them" when you talk about the school, start thinking in terms of "we" and "us;" by adding yourself to the equation, you can make a world of difference! There are many things you can do to put action behind your words, and to help your student's school provide the best possible education for your child.
Five ways to have a great parent-school relationship are:
1) Know the school staff working with your child. This really is the most important step, from your child's standpoint. From the lunch lady to the teachers to the counselor and principal, each adult your child meets on a regular basis will have an impact on his or her day. The average child will work with between 100 and 200 adults in the course of their schooling; how much better would their school experience be if parents and teachers were friends who could speak openly and honestly about a child's progress? A simple thing like taking one day to go by the school to introduce yourself to each of the key players in your child's life can make a world of difference. If, on that same trip, you gave all of your child's teachers a small box of stationery and asked to hear regularly about your child's progress, you'd be amazed at the response.
2) Initiate positive contacts with the school. This virtually never happens, except in isolated cases, or perhaps with "favorite" teachers. Every teacher, just as every child, deserves to have positive input. Think about this: if there is a teacher whose "style" you don't appreciate, would she b e more likely to adapt to your child's needs if you were kind to her, or if you constantly complained to or about her? My grandmother used to say I'd catch more flies with honey than with vinegar; I'm relatively certain that my children will learn and enjoy school more if I approach their teachers with the same philosophy.
3) Offer to serve on school-level decision-making committees and teams. Just about every state has some form of education reform plan which calls for parent involvement on some level. With schools seeking out stakeholders to be involved in decision-making, this is a perfect chance for parents to have meaningful involvement. We're not talking about cookie baking or bulletin board posting, which are useful but fairly narrow ways of helping. What we're talking about here is taking part in making decisions for the school that impact the budget, curriculum and activities on a much larger scale. You'll have the opportunity to work with teachers, administrators, students and other parents to help map out the direction your school will take. Just remember one thing""with responsibility like this comes accountability, but the rewards far outweigh the risks.
4) Know, and support, the school rules. Few parents would ever publicly disagree with a rule their spouse set down for their child. You need to think in much the same terms. Few parents would ever publicly disagree with a rule their spouse set down for their child. You need to think in much the same terms regarding the rules your school has set for the children who attend there. There will be rules you may not agree with; you might not have strict seating guidelines for lunch in your own kitchen, for example, but remember that while there may be one, two or six people eating in your kitchen, there are between 300 and 800 eating at any one time in the average American public school. And that's just lunch! The weight of responsibility for the safety of your child, and all of the children in a school, is immense. By acknowledging the need for somewhat stricter rules, by knowing these rules and explaining them to your child, you can help your student have the kind of school experience we all wish for our children.
5) Remember to say "Thank You!" Teaching is a calling and a privilege, as much as it is a job. Teachers, the many good ones, anyway, know this and respect your place in the education of your child. Teaching, though, is a difficult job made even more so as teachers must overcome negative impressions of their vocation which are created everyplace but their own classrooms. Rather than becoming angry at the inevitable human mistake, or blaming "those teachers" for every fault and mistake of your child's, work with the professionals who want nothing but to help your child grow and learn. When all is said and done, thank them for that part of your child's growth and education that will stay with him or her forever, and in the best instances, thank them for being a friend.
