Toddlers love pets for all the wrong reasons. They like pulling silky ears and grabbing moving tails. Unfortunately, pets seldom appreciate this type of attention. So how does a parent coordinate the two?
First, realize that a toddler has limited reasoning ability. A young child is unable to understand why the kitty's whiskers don't easily come out. Used to tinker toys and stuffed animals, a toddler may feel that the family pet should be as accommodating as other playthings.
Second, the pet cannot comprehend why Baby is so eager to inflict hurt when other family members are gentle and kind. A kitten or puppy may return scratch for scratch if a tugging match ensures, while a poor goldfish has no recourse but to allow itself to be groped and its fins plucked.
Concerned parents can readily see that never the twain shall meet. Yet other family members want a household pet to enjoy. What's a parent to do?
1. Get a pet that can be kept out of the toddler's reach at least sometimes. A bird in a cage, a goldfish bowl perched on a shelf, or a dog or cat that stays outdoors part of the day may be the answer to your dilemma. Or keep the family pet in a part of the house to which the toddler doesn't have access.
2. Show your child how to stroke a pet. Model gentle touches to appropriate parts of the body, avoiding ears, nose, and tail. If the child starts to grab fur, unclasp his or her fingers and say "no" in a firm voice. Hold his or her hand as you carefully move it over the pet's head or back.
3. Explain clearly in basic phrasing how a pet should be handled. Use short sentences and simple words to convey the message:
"Watch my hand. See how I do it?"
"Be gentle with the puppy."
"Don't hurt his tail."
Young children will watch your facial features and listen to your tone of voice to grasp the message's complete meaning, so make these fit your demeanor.
4. Never leave a child unsupervised with a pet. Not only might the animal get hurt, but your little one may end up with a bite or scratch that requires medical treatment. Share the same information with other caregivers, like family members, babysitters, and day care staff.
5. Let your toddler learn to care for the pet. Chores like providing food and water, as well as grooming, bathing, and cleaning up any unintentional house messes provide learning opportunities that will help your little one understand an animal's needs. Caring for a living creature helps to instill respect for life in children.
6. Be patient. Learning anything new takes time, and some children learn faster than others. If you find that the situation is not working out, consider boarding your pet temporarily or finding it a new home until your child is older. You might even want to try another type of pet. Remember to choose dog breeds that get along well with kids as opposed to those that are less inclined to do so. Avoid excitable breeds or animals that have been abused previously as they may expect the worst from your family until they come to know better.
Raising kids and pets together can be challenging. But with a few precautions you may be able to cultivate a harmonious relationship.
