If you have noticed that your child has a problem in sharing belongings, you may want to take steps to teach the concept of generosity. Learning to share things is an important part of developing moral character, so parents should be sure to include this lesson as part of their kids' training.
Take note of occasions when your child may be called on to offer or surrender prized possessions to another and respond appropriately to the attitude that is revealed. The following guidelines may be helpful in encouraging your children not to hold on to their possessions too tightly.
1. Start when kids are young. Even toddlers can be urged to hand over a toy with another child or an adult who wants to see it. While it is normal for two-year-olds to get angry over sharing their toys, they will benefit from an early introduction to this principle. It may take some time before kids can comfortably offer things to others, so don't wait too long to start.
2. Keep it simple. Rather than expecting kids to allow anyone and everyone to handle everything in their room or toy area, set limits. Encourage your child to offer one toy or book to a visitor. When the object is safely returned, your child will be able to see that it is okay to trust others with important belongings.
3. Reward generous attitudes and behavior. Verbal praise like "Good job!" or "I'm glad you were willing to let little Jerry have something to play with" reinforce charitable thinking. If a grasping nature has become a serious problem in your son or daughter, talk about the need to be more sharing and offer a tangible reward:
"The next time I see you share with your little sister, I'll take you for ice cream."
Star charts posted on the refrigerator work well for young kids, while extra privileges are great motivators for older children. Kids generally enjoy pleasing their parents in ways that are recognized tangibly.
4. Point out sharing examples in other people's behavior. Television shows, videos, stories in books, kids' radio programs, and other media provide opportunities for pointing to those who are willing to share things. Ask questions and invite your child’s feedback on situations where generosity is displayed.
5. Set an example yourself. Make it a point to offer your things to guests or friends in front of your children. Let them see sharing in action. Afterward, you might want to make a casual comment to draw your child’s attention to your attitude or the outcome:
"I'm glad Cindy could use my casserole dish."
When you borrow something, be sure to emphasize your appreciation for the children's benefit:
"Mrs. Smith is so kind to let me borrow her first aid book. That saved us $10 for not having to buy it."
Some children are more sharing than others by nature. Whatever your child's inclination, watch for signs of sharing or its lack, and look for ways to develop this important trait n your kids.
