Most of us would connect the word infidelity with a relationship that has failed, causing loss of trust and eventual ending of the relationship.
Just as every person is different, so too is every relationship different.A relationship can vary from one in which two people have been together a relatively short time, to relationships that have lasted a lifetime.The length of time a relationship has existed also determines to some extent the amount of trust that has built up between the partners""and the amount of "investment" each has in it.
From the viewpoint of the person who feels they have lost all trust in their partner because of infidelity, the first reaction is normally devastation.In their own minds they can at that time see no reason or justification for their partner treating them in this manner.As if "out of the blue" something has happened that is so completely foreign to the nature of the person they trusted with their emotions.Later that viewpoint may change.
Upon examination over time often we discover that there have been clues, or hints to our partner's behavior for some time.Dissatisfaction, discontent, anger, or even periods of depression may be signs that a person either has considered or is in the actual act of infidelity.These signs may have been obvious had they been noticed before; however partners are not always observant enough to recognize them.The reasons for this activity may lie either in the relationship itself, or in the person.
When a person's needs are not being met their initial reactions may be to hold such feelings inside rather than expressing them to their partner.After a period of time not having their physical and/or emotional needs met, they begin to feel increased stress and frustration.The target of this pent up emotion most likely will be their partner.They may strike out at them in anger, blaming them for not noticing the problems and "fixing" them.This is not only unfair to them, but is also unfair to the other person.If someone is incapable of expressing their needs to another, they can hardly blame their own failure on someone else.
It is often the case over time that partners become complacent.The comfortable closeness and familiarity of a long time friend often leads to boredom.Unless both people understand this possibility and stay interested in each other's needs and desires, the chances for infidelity and eventual loss of trust can be nearly inevitable.In any relationship, both partners must remain attentive to each other.
Understanding some of the issues surrounding infidelity is important in making the decision to either continue with forgiveness""or to end a relationship.Many times the person committing the transgression is unable to forgive themselves for their actions.Continuing the relationship under this circumstance will probably not be an option because the person will continue to live with the internal guilt, unable to face their partner.In addition, their affected partner may decide that forgiveness is beyond their own capabilities.Sadly, this will also prevent attempts at reconciliation.
People do recover from infidelity every day.For any sort of recovery to take place, both parties must communicate openly and honestly with each other.The road to recovery may be a long one, however with help from each other and improved communication a relationship may not only be saved""but also actually strengthened.The warning for all of us is to be certain in our own relationships that such a drastic step will never be needed for us to give our attention to our partner's needs.
