Seperation and divorce is never easy. But, if you take the proper steps you will be prepared for what is ahead.
There are three different types of separation. A trial separation is what most couples choose when they are either not sure about divorce or just need room to breathe. The upside to this kind of separation is this time period gives couples a chance to work on their problems and differences without making any life changing decisions. The down side is, depending on what state you live in you may still be responsible for debts and earnings that the other spouse incurs during this time. Some states also do not always view a trial separation as legally binding.
True legal separation is the act of going to court and actually obtaining an order to separate all assets, property, earnings, child support, maintance, and visitation of minor children down the middle. This hearing takes place prior to the divorce litigation and most times makes it easier to get through the actual divorce. By the time you reach the divorce proceedings everything is already in place and the only thing left to do is to sign the papers.
Preparation during the separation period is crucial. If you choose to leave your home there are things that you need to do in order to secure all of your financial means. First, you need to contact your mortgage lender or landlord and let them know you are no longer living in the home. If at all possible you need to have your name removed from the contracts to make sure that if the other spouse does not take care of the financial responsibilities then you are not held liable.
Second, you need to obtain all your financial statements. Tax records, account numbers, names of loan companies and any and all outstanding debt. This way you can stay on top of the financial situation and make sure that you are aware of everything coming and going.
Third, You will want to contact the banks and either freeze or close all accounts that have your name on it. Be careful when trying to withdrawal the money. This issue may come up in the divorce hearing and if it is found that the money was from your spouses' earnings, you can be held accountable.
Last but not least. Divorce and separation can bring on hurt resentful feelings. If you have chosen to leave the home then you may want to take all sentimental and valuable possessions and personal belongings with you. Wouldn't you hate to have all of this over and realize in a hurtful state of mind that your spouse has distributed your property somewhere else?
Some states make it mandatory that a couple separate for a period of one to two years. This allows for time to reconcile. In some cases this is not a good idea especially if there is domestic violence with in the relationship.
No matter what your state law is it does not make separation and divorce any easier. You should consult with an attorney to make sure you are aware of your rights and responsibilities. This also cuts down on contact with your spouse during the rocky times and helps things go a lot smoother.
