How A Life Coach Helps People

We tend to put other people first, and when we do that, we also tend to squelch that quiet voice who knows what we need. My job is to help you to remember who you really are and to step out of the way of the limitations and beliefs we have so that you can see the truth of who you are. When you know who you really are, you make different decisions. You agree to different things in your life. You participate in life completely differently. When we step outside of ourselves and see who we really are, we take that person into our careers, our hobbies, our relationship and everything else that we do, and we feel more whole because we know who we are.

Let me tell you a story about me and how I got where I am today. I am the youngest of six kids, and my father was an alcoholic. I saw a lot of things in my house that I knew were not right like violence, yelling at each other, lying to each other, and running away. On my third birthday I had a brand new toy, so when the party was over, I walked outside to my front yard, looked up at the sky and the big tree that was across the street for me, and considered the tree and the sky my friends. It's just like when you are a little kid kicking a rock down the street. That rock becomes your friend, and when you kick it out of site, you are kind of disappointed because you had gotten attached to it. When I was a kid the sky and the tree were my friends. I didn't feel alone. I guess that was my sense of God. I was so happy on that birthday that I couldn't understand why the other people in my house didn't also understand how joyful life was. In that moment I realized I was here to help show people how joyful life was.

My sister used to sing, and I admired that, so as I got older I would walk to school singing as well. I would talk to strangers, because I have always loved people. I was just a happy kid in first grade, but one day a girl in second grade turned to me and told me that I was ugly, I had a rotten smile, and I had a rotten voice. She was older, so I believed her. I'd had plenty of years of that being reinforced by my brothers telling me I had a big nose, because my mom believed she had a big nose and was sorry for passing it down to us. They told me that if I didn't wear the right clothes, they would pick on me. After that first grade incident, I stopped smiling for years.

I started to play the flute in fourth grade becoming the only one in the family to be a musician. When I got to college I decided to become a music teacher, because music was my life up until that point and my dad told me how proud he was of me. I got my music degree, but what I was really doing was I was hiding behind a flute. I really wanted to sing. I taught for nine years. As a music teacher, I was one of the favorite teachers in school; because I was fun I let the kids express themselves. I was living vicariously through them, but I didn't realize it at that time.

In 1996 my father died. My mom turned to me and asked, "April, what am I going to do now?" My mom had no degree, no education, and didn't know what to do with her life. I decided from that point to really grow myself. In 1997, I started to take personal growth seminars. My father was a counselor and always told me I'd make a great counselor, too. When I started doing personal growth workshops, I started to see how it felt to help another person. I started to teach workshops in my music classes or after school, and I would do special things with the kids to inspire them. When I had the chance to get my masters degree, I flew out to California one weekend per month for 2 years to get a spiritual psychology degree. I was not given a textbook that says, "Here is how you deal with somebody that has this problem or issue." YOU are the problem for two years. You have to work out your own problems in order to graduate.

I later auditioned for a musical. The guy took off his glasses, looked up at me and said, "Do you mean to tell me that you have been hiding that voice for this long?" I just about cried on the spot. Here is the irony. I get a part in a five woman show. I was one of the main characters and got to play a sexy woman. I got to be a leader after being so insecure my whole life. What I did to get myself to that point was I changed the way I talked to myself. For me, that was an entirely spiritual experience, because I had to get out of my own way to stop believing the negative thoughts inside.

That's how I help my clients. I help them overcome their fears by changing the way they talk to themselves as well as help them put into place an outer support. If they don't have support they are not going to fully succeed.