A military family has an additional set of stresses that are not a part of a non-military family. It can be difficult to adjust to life in a military marriage, and before you jump in head first, you should mentally prepare yourself for your new lifestyle. In order to make your marriage work, you have to understand the inherent responsibilities of a military family.
Taking care of the family finances is important to a successful military family. It may not be pleasant to think about it, but if your spouse has to be deployed into combat and is killed, then you will have to take the reigns. The last thing that you will want to deal with if something tragic happens is that you have no idea about your mortgage, bank accounts or bill payments. Your family will be suffering a great loss, and the situation will be amplified if you are suddenly in financial duress because you don’t know about the household finances. Both you and your spouse should have a complete understanding of your financial situation. Make sure that you know all about you debts, your mortgage, your car payments, loan payments, utility bills, taxes, etc. Sit down at least once a month to keep each other up to date on the money matters. Keep a record of your account numbers, and maintain an organized filing cabinet for your financial documents. You should invest in some software for your personal computer to keep records of your finances.
Long periods of separation are not uncommon for a military marriage, and you have to be prepared for your spouse to be away while you are at home with your family. It can be lonely and trying to maintain a long distance marriage, especially when you are worried that your spouse could be in harm’s way. You have to face all of the unfortunate possibilities that you may encounter. You might have to raise children by yourself. You might be home pregnant while your husband is fighting a war overseas. You could give birth to a child without your husband at your side. You will be sleeping in a lonely bed night after night, plagued by worried that your spouse in danger. Letter writing might turn into your sole form of communication with your husband for extended periods of time. You should talk to a marriage counselor before you tie the knot – find someone who has had experience with military families. A counselor will be able to help both of you prepare for your future so that you are able to cope with the burdens of a military marriage and family. You also should consider sitting down with a married military couple with a family so that you can get some first-hand insights and advice about military family living.
It can be very beneficial to have a support group of friends or family members if you are in a military marriage. If your spouse has to go away, you will be glad to have caring people around you to get you through your separation. If you live in a military community, then you will be able to develop friendships with other military families who will understand your unique challenges. Having friends who are going through the same obstacles as you will make marrying into a military family much easier to cope with.
