Advice for women: romance in marriage

Romance is an important part of a healthy marriage. Sometimes life can become so stressful that we forget to make room for it. We get caught up in life’s routines and put our love life at the bottom of our list.

One reason for this is time. Working and/or taking care of kids can leave us exhausted, with little or no time for ourselves. The last thing we think about is handing over our free time to yet, another person. However, you need to remember what sparked a flame between you and your husband. It was romance.

Romance creates an emotion and a bond between two people. When you first fell in love with your husband, you probably could hold endless conversations about anything. Being together, holding hands, cuddling, taking a walk together and watching a movie were things you probably experienced before marriage. All of that created a bond between you and your husband.

Many couples lose this somewhere in between working to pay bills and the children. “We don't have the time anymore” is an excuse that has to be thrown out. Make time by setting an hour or a day that's just for the two of you and make it a habit.

Most work schedules that vary are set on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. Keep up with your husband’s schedule, and select a time that you both will be free. If you have young children, designate that time for them to be alone, playing in their room or taking a nap. Every now and then children need away from parents too. If your children are a bit older, see if they can hang out at a friend’s house.

Once you have a set hour for the two of you, plan some activities to do. There are lots of things you and your husband can do such as watching a romantic movie, playing a game, taking a walk, or just sitting and talking.

Rent a romantic movie, sit back on the couch, and cuddle. Sometimes just being wrapped up in each other is all we need. If your husband doesn't get into watching romance, see if you can compromise. On one movie night, let him pick the movie.

Get creative when it comes to games. Sure you could play "Go Fish" or "Scrabble," but chances are, unless you have some interesting bets going on, it won't be very romantic. Find a game the two of you enjoy playing and add some twists to it. If you win, you get your feet rubbed. If he wins, he gets his feet rubbed.

Taking a walk together and enjoying nature is a great way to bond. Take a walk just before sunset and watch the sun go down together. Talking can also be very romantic. Share fantasies, and talk about future plans together.

There are lots other ways to be romantic. Writing love notes, breakfast in bed, candle light dinners, and bubble baths are just a few examples. Love notes and bubble baths are less time consuming.

Be creative with your love notes. Place them around the house for your husband to see. On one note, list the top 5 reasons you fell in love with him. On another, write a poem to express your love.

Another great way to make sure you are including a little romance would be coupons. Creating romance coupons is great for spontaneity. Make little booklets of them for each of you to use whenever you want.

Here are some suggestions for your coupons:

“a free back rub”

“a free meal cooked for you”

“watch a movie together, your choice”

“a free picnic in the park”

Even with a busy lifestyle, there are plenty of romantic activities for you and your husband to do. Remember to allow time for the two of you together, and keep your activities creative.