Baby shower etiquette: gifts

A baby shower is a celebration and an opportunity for friends and family to give support, advice, and gifts to the expectant mother. Gifts are “showered” on the mother to help ease the financial burden that a new baby can bring to a growing family.

The baby shower invitation will often provide you with the clues needed to choose an appropriate gift. Often, the hostess of the shower will include a note specifying whether the mother has registered for desired baby products. If she has registered, it is wise to purchase a gift from her registry. She may have very specific reasons for choosing certain items. For example, she may have done research on which baby products are the safest and registered for those items especially. If you purchase a gift from the registry, be sure to have the item removed from the list or marked as purchased so as to avoid duplicate gifts. If the sex of the baby is already known, this information may also be included in the invitation. When the sex is unknown, stick to neutral colors such as white, yellow or green when purchasing clothing and nursery décor.

If the mother is not registered, you may ask the hostess if she can advise you on what the mother needs or wants. She should suggest a few affordable items for you to choose from, or advise you and a few other attendees to pitch in together for a larger-ticket item.

Practical gifts are often the most useful for new parents. Functional items such as undershirts, washcloths, crib sheets and diaper pails may seem like uninteresting presents, but they can be packaged in a way that makes them more fun to give and receive. Newborn undershirts and booties can be secured with clothespins and hung on a clothesline for a high-impact presentation. You can fill a brightly-colored diaper pail with disposable diapers, baby wipes, cornstarch baby powder, and a changing mat. A baby bathtub can be filled with baby soaps, shampoos, washcloths, towels and bath toys. Or you can put together a “sleepy-time” gift basket filled with soft pajamas, a lullaby CD, a nightlight, and some crib sheets.

Handmade and personal gifts are always the most heartfelt and meaningful. The mother is sure to think of your generosity every time she dresses her baby in the cap you knitted. Items such as a homemade dress are sure to be saved and cherished long after the baby has outgrown it. If you are not particularly crafty but would still like to add a personal touch to a gift, enclose a handwritten note with your gift.

When you are buying baby clothes, remember that newborns quickly become big babies and toddlers. Some babies wear the newborn size for only a couple of weeks, so consider buying larger sizes. Often times, the mother receives nearly all newborn sized clothes which the baby ends up wearing only once or twice. The same goes for all wearable items such as diapers, socks, shoes and undershirts.

If you are invited to a baby shower that you are unable to attend, it is not necessary to send a gift. However, if you are close to the mother-to-be to be invited, you may want to send a present anyway. There are countless of online stores that specialize in baby gifts and will send the item directly to the mother. If the mother has registered at a large department store or baby store, her registry will often be posted on the store’s website, making online shopping for gifts even easier.

Baby showers are more popular now than ever. In addition to the traditional baby shower, we are seeing an emergence of new ways to celebrate. The type of baby shower you are invited to can have an impact on the gift you should choose.

The Welcoming Shower:

Traditionally, a shower is held in the last trimester of the mother’s pregnancy, but some people prefer to wait until after the baby is born and throw a Welcoming Shower. This is especially popular with those who believe that it is unlucky to buy gifts for a baby before his or her arrival. Also, mothers who live far from their families are choosing to wait and have a shower after the baby is born. This way, well-wishers traveling from out of town to meet the baby will be able to attend the shower. Since the celebration is held after the baby has been born, you can confidently buy gender specific clothes or items personalized with the baby’s name.

The Office Baby Shower:

Co-workers may decide to throw a pregnant colleague a baby shower at the office. This is usually a short and causal affair. Most often, the participants pool money together and purchase either a single large item or gift certificate to a baby store or a large department store. Sometimes, however, guests bring individual gifts. If this is the case, any baby gift will do.

The Sprinkle:

There are some who believe that having a shower for a woman who already has a child is a serious breech of etiquette. Others believe that every pregnancy deserves a celebration. The compromise is a Sprinkle; which is like a shower, but you “sprinkle” the mother with small gifts rather than “shower” her with loads of baby gear. Since the mother most likely already has most of the necessary baby gear, small items that might not have survived the previous child are appreciated. Disposable diapers are costly, and babies go through hundreds if not thousands of them in their first years of life. An experienced mother will greatly appreciate a simple gift of diapers and baby wipes. Babies tend to be messy, so items such as undershirts, receiving blankets and burp clothes rarely survive the first child, and would make excellent Sprinkle gifts. Another great idea for a Sprinkle is to get a gift for the mommy-to-be such a nice robe to wear at home during baby’s first days or a last-chance day at the spa.

No matter what type of shower you attend, you are expected to bring a gift. The mother-to-be will surely appreciate your attendance and generosity at this major event in her life. Even more importantly, by giving a baby shower gift, you contribute to the life of a child.