Planning a wedding in the beauty and tradition of the Catholic Church can be a bit overwhelming for some brides and grooms to be. While there is no set list of rules that apply to each individual parish, you will find that most parishes require that you follow a similar set of rules in order to be married.
To begin with, most Catholic churches will want you to notify them at least six months to one year in advance of your intention to get married. You will be placed at that time on the Church calendar so that no one else will be able to select your date and time. Larger parishes generally require the longer length of time so that the couple has ample time to complete the other requirements.
The priest will likely ask the bride and groom to produce several documents. You will need proof of your baptism, and most churches require that it be one obtained within the past six months. You will also have to provide your confirmation certificate. If you were baptized and confirmed in the same Church, they may combine the information on one document. If you are unable to provide proof of these sacraments, you may be required by the Church to complete religious education courses to prepare yourself for completing these sacraments prior to your marriage.
Another requirement of the church is pre-marital counseling. This is something that can again vary by parish, but it can also depend on the distance the couple is from the parish in which they are to be married. The most commonly known pre-marital counseling is PreCana classes. These classes are usually run like workshops, and they are conducted by other couples who have been married in the Catholic Church. The groups are likely to cover topics such as the rhythm method of birth control, participating in the church as a married couple, the place of Jesus Christ in your marriage, and related topics. They are designed to force the couple to contemplate the meaning of the life time commitment they are about to make. In place of PreCana classes, some couples may opt to attend an Engaged Encounter weekend. Again, conducted by other Catholic married couples and priests, the Engaged Encounter weekend covers similar topics to what is covered in PreCana. There are also circumstances that might prevent a couple from attending either the PreCana classes or an Engaged Encounter weekend, and in those instances, the Church will likely require several meetings with the priest until he feels comfortable that the couple is spiritually prepared to make the commitment.
Although this varies by Church as well, you may be required to have honor attendants that are of the Catholic faith. You can usually have non-Catholic bridesmaids and groomsmen, but some parishes require your best man and maid of honor to be Catholic. Your priest will also discuss with you issues regarding interfaith unions. In some parishes, you will not be permitted to marry during a Nuptial Mass unless both the bride and groom are Catholic.
You will also be permitted to choose your own floral arrangements, music, candles, and other wedding accessories, however, most parishes do have guidelines that you will be required to follow. Many churches, for example, no longer allow the throwing of rice after the wedding, but you would be surprised to find that there are also quite a few that no longer permit birdseed, bubbles, or butterflies. Also, in larger parishes that are likely to conduct several weddings in the course of a weekend, you may be asked to contact the other couples getting married the same weekend as you to coordinate altar floral arrangements and pew decorations. In some cases, you will be asked to remove your arrangements entirely upon the conclusion of your wedding.
Contacting your parish well in advance of your desired wedding date will help you to become familiar with the requirements of your particular pastor. Together with your parish family, you will be able to have a memorable wedding within the guidelines of your Church.
