Choosing a marriage counselor

Choosing a marriage counselor could be one of the most important decisions you make in your marriage.

Choosing a marriage counselor is a delicate process. Both partners need to be able to develop respect, trust and rapport with the chosen professional. There are many different types of therapists. Social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, and counselors hold different degrees but can perform marriage counseling. In some states it is also possible to obtain a certificate in marriage counseling. Ministers, priests, rabbis and other Spiritual leaders are often certified to provide marriage counseling by the religious organization they represent.

Once both partners have agreed that a marriage counselor is needed, the first step is to decide between faith based and secular counselors. Faith based marriage counselors can be a member of the clergy who has been trained in relationships based on individual faith, or a certified counselor who uses a specific faith to base counseling ideas and techniques.

Secular marriage counselors are evaluated on degree held, years of experience, cost of service, and trust. Check your medical insurance policy to determine what, if any services will be covered. You may be limited to the counselors your insurance approves. Some insurance companies require a referral from your primary care doctor in order to obtain counseling services. Narrow down your choices based on out of pocket costs, availability of payment plans or per session fees. When you have a list of providers you can afford, call and inquire about degree, school attended, and years of service. Next, set up and appointment with your top 3 choices to evaluate the counselor’s methods, philosophy and trustworthiness.

While at the evaluation appointment, question the professional on things like marriage philosophy, quality and length of their personal long-term relationships. Ask if they’re married, and for how long. Evaluate the counselor’s ability to remain impartial and your ability to trust this person with your personal information and emotions. If either partner feels they may not be able to fully trust the counselor, you must keep looking.

Choosing a marriage counselor could be one of the most important decisions you make in your marriage. A good one will help you and your partner grow closer, understand each other better, set joint goals or dreams and teach you communication and nurturing skills vital to a happy, healthy marriage. A bad marriage counselor has the ability to destroy your relationship by giving advice that breaks trust, and destroys the bond between you and your spouse. Whatever you choose go into the counseling relationship with your eyes open and maintain communication about the counseling sessions with your spouse.