Dating tips: 5 tips for online relationships

Dating is intimidating to many singles, but with the advent of the World Wide Web, millions of singles are able to dip their toes in the dating pool without the stress of diving right in. Internet dating is immensely popular nowadays, so if you’re looking for love, all you have to do is get online. Online dating has many similarities with real dating, and it also has some advantages, but as you might expect, there are some definitely disadvantages to this meeting people on the internet. Here are five tips to guide you through your online dating experience:

1. FIND AN ONLINE DATING WEBSITE

Finding an online dating service that you like is actually quite simple. All you have to do is get online, and then type “Online Dating” into the search engine of your preference, and millions of results will come up – literally, millions. Just look at some of the sites that your search returns and find one that you like. If you are looking to date only a certain demographic of people, then narrow down your search criteria. If you are looking for other Jewish singles, for example, you could search under “Jewish” and “Online Dating.” Keep in mind that most of the reputable online dating sites will allow you to customize your preferences, so it really isn’t necessary in most cases to find a service that caters to only a certain group of people. For example, you will have an opportunity to specify criteria for potential singles, such as an age range, education level, smoker or non-smoker. It is a good idea to look at the options, but don’t limit your search too narrowly. You don’t want to miss out on a potentially great, meaningful relationship just because you were too picky and choosy. Remember the old saying, “opposites attract;” keep an open mind! After all, online dating really gives you the unique opportunity to meet people that you might not normally come across in your social circles, and you can get to know people without the added pressure of being face-to-face.

2. KEEP YOUR GUARD UP

Internet dating allows you to get to know people that you cannot see. Sure, there might be a photo or even a couple of photos, but often times, you really can’t rely on physical attraction to find potential love matches. Your attraction is based on your online chats or e-mail exchanges; your relationship grows because you are growing closer to each other on a personal level. When you try to meet people at a bar, for instance, you have to admit, you only go after the people that you are attracted to – physically. You may begin to feel very close to someone that you talk to frequently through online dating because the two of you are having a continuous exchange, and you are both much less inhibited than you would be on an in-person date. Although you can quickly grow close with someone online, you have to make sure that you are careful. The reality is that you don’t know this person. It could all be a lie. Everything this person is telling you could be made up, either maliciously or just out of insecurity on the part of that person. Never ever disclose your address, your place of employment, your bank information, or anything else of that nature. Don’t give out your last name, either, even though that may seem trivial. An online relationship can only go so far because of the necessity to guard certain personal facts. This is not to say that your online dating cannot go beyond the internet and into the real world, but while you are exclusively communicating via the internet, you absolutely must remain guarded.

3. NEVER TELL A LIE

If you are dating online in hopes that you will find a real relationship that can blossom into something long-term, then you really have to resist the temptation to lie when you are in an online relationship. That sounds obvious, but many people are compelled to tell little white lies about themselves when they chat online because it’s just so easy to get away with it. People lie about what line of work they are in, what they look like, how much money they make, what kind of car they drive… all sorts of stuff. Lying to someone that you have been conversing with online is only going to end any chance that you might have had for finding a real relationship. If you lied to someone about important aspects of your life or about your appearance, how are you ever going to meet that person face-to-face, let alone forge a true, committed relationship with that person? The foundation for any healthy relationship is trust, so don’t build a house on sand by starting out your relationship with lies.

4. DON’T COMMIT

No matter how intimate and bonded you feel about someone that you are engaged in an online relationship with, you shouldn’t commit to someone who you only know through the internet. Just keep getting to know each other until you are ready to take your relationship to the next level. You don’t want to limit yourself from meeting other potential dates just because you are in a quasi-relationship with someone on the internet. You don’t even know what this person’s voice sounds like yet. You can’t help it if you start to develop feelings for someone you are talking to online, but it is unadvisable to make a commitment to that person until your relationship has been introduced to the real world.

5. TAKE THE NEXT STEPS

You can’t hold hands online. You can’t have your first kiss online. Online dating is a very viable starting point for a relationship, but a relationship cannot thrive without some real-life contact! Start off by talking on the telephone. If you don’t have an unlisted number (one that won’t show up on a caller identification device) you should contact your phone company. Ask them how to block your number from being displayed – better safe than sorry. If you still feel a spark after several phone calls, then you should discuss meeting in person. Make sure that you meet in a well-lit public place during daytime hours. For additional security, it is also a good idea to bring a friend with you for your first meeting. Your first in-person meeting will mark the beginning of your real relationship, and from there you can start dating like you normally would, except you will have the advantage of already knowing a lot about each other’s tastes and personalities as the result of your online conversations.