Congratulations! You have been asked by your friend or relative to stand by her side when she delivers her new baby. There is nothing in this world more miraculous than watching a child being born. Your emotions will run the gamut from being nervous and anxious to feeling a sense of wonder and awe. The best advice I can give you to help your friend out is to listen to what she wants. Because no two women will have the same experience or deal with this event in the same way, during the labor and delivery, you will need to take your cues from her to determine what she needs at that specific moment. Here are some things you can do to prepare to help your friend or relative during her childbirth.
* Watch a video of a child being born. You don’t want to go into a delivery room having no idea what to expect or having no idea what is normal. When that baby starts to arrive, time will fast forward and you will have very little time to process what is going on before you. You don’t want to startle your friend by screaming, “What is that!?”
* Talk to your friend beforehand and ask her how she deals with pain, in general. We all deal differently with pain. Some of us want to talk through it, others of us want to be comforted and held and some of us just want to be left alone. It is essential to find out how your friend will want to be treated when she is having a major contraction. You don’t want to be by her side cheering her on when all she wants is to be left alone. Of course, anything she asks for while going through her labor overrides anything she has discussed beforehand.
* In addition to talking to your friend about how she deals with pain, ask her what may make her feel uncomfortable. In other words, she may want you to be around while she is fully clothed and for the actual delivery, but she may want you to leave the room or close the curtain when the nurse comes in to check how much she has dilated, or when she is getting a catheter or when she is receiving her epidural. Find out, in advance, when you should stay and when you should leave.
*When you get to the labor room, talk to the nurse to find out where everything is, including extra towels, quilts and pillows. Also find out where you can get water and ice. Most of the time while your friend is in labor, the nurse will not be in the room, so if your friend gets chilly or nauseated or wants some ice chips, you will want to know how to quickly get them for her.
*Make sure you bring everything you may need. You will probably want a jacket to keep cool, since the labor and delivery rooms can be quite chilly. Also, if your friend wants to have the birth video taped or photographed, make sure you bring these items as well. It is very easy to get caught up in the moment when your friend is delivering, so if she wants the event taped or photographed, make sure you have your video camera or camera on hand.
*Unlike you, many of her friends or relatives who may be waiting in the waiting room will not know what is going on. Be sure to visit them frequently to let them know the progress of the labor and to keep them posted.
*When your friend is in labor, she will have a monitor attached to her that lets her know when a contraction is coming and when it is subsiding. Ask her if she would like to know when these events will be happening and then alert her.
*Make sure you are never in the way of the nurse or delivery doctor when they are getting things situated. Ask them where you should stand during the actual delivery so you do not get in their way.
*When your friend is delivering, make sure to encourage her and let her know that she is doing a tremendous job. Let her know the progress of the delivery since she won’t be able to see what is going on from her angle. It is easy to get preoccupied with the baby once she is delivered, so make sure you comfort and congratulate your friend after the birth.
