Developing a relationship with your father-in-law can be a daunting challenge. He may be very leery of you – you’re the man who stole his daughter away, after all. You have to prove to him, first and foremost, that you are worthy of his daughter. Sure, he may have given you his blessing to ask her to for her hand in marriage, but now it’s time to put your money where your mouth it’s – actions speak louder than words. Show your father-in-law that you’re a loving and caring and supportive husband, and that you are providing a wonderful life for your wife. If it seems like your father-in-law is especially hard on you, don’t take it personally. He simply wants the best for his daughter, and when you become a parent, you will understand his heightened concern. He has probably been working at perfecting the “scary dad” routine every since your wife started dating.
Try to take an active interest in some of your father-in-laws hobbies. If he is a golfer, ask him for some advice. If you know how to golf, ask him to go play with you. If not, ask if he’d be willing to help you learn – invite him to the driving range to help you with your swing. First of all, you will be a massage his ego by asking him for advice, rather than having asked a friend of yours. Secondly, when you are out together you’ll have the opportunity to bond in an atmosphere that is very relaxed and casual. You don’t need to worry about awkward silences because you can just hit another ball when you run out interesting things to say. While you are out, try to talk about more than just the activity at hand. Ask him about his experience being a father; ask him about what your wife was like when she was growing up. Trust me, he likes talking about his family and he will be happy to see that you want to hear about his daughter and her life before you came into the picture. He will see that you are trying to become a part of the family, not take his daughter away from it.
It might sound like a cliché, but a camping and fishing trip can actually be a great bonding experience for you and your father-in-law. If the two of you can both get a weekend away, it could do wonders for your relationship. By the time you get home, you could be good friends. The two of you can enjoy “guy” talk and male bonding – beers, campfires, hotdogs and baked beans, maybe some freshly-caught fish even. Tell your father about your goals for the future so that he is more comfortable with the idea that you are now the “main man” in his daughter’s life. Talk to him about your career aspirations and your desire to start a family, if that is your plan. Ask him for advice of being a good husband and father.
Invite your father-in-law over to your home so that he can see firsthand that you’re providing a safe and happy home for your wife. If there is good weather, have a barbecue. You and your father-in-law can bond over the grilling activities. Ask for his advice about barbecuing. Whenever you ask someone for advice, they feel flattered, so it’s a great way to begin to build a relationship. It sort of helps to break someone’s wall down because people like it when they feel like you like them. It will show your father-in-law that you have respect for him and that you value his opinion. The more time you invest in your relationship with your father-in-law, the stronger that your bond and friendship will become.
