Writing an obituary may be the final opportunity you will have to pay tribute to a deceased loved one. It is important to offer a thoughtful overview of the person's life, along with inspiring mementos or perspectives that may benefit others. As you organize your ideas in preparation for writing the obituary or presenting a eulogy, here are a few reminders:
1. Include key dates and data. Begin with the person's legal and nicknames, dates of birth and death, and immediate family members or close friends. You may want to begin with a quote from the deceased or from a famous person he or she admired. Some people include the cause of death and a creative expression:
"John Doe entered Paradise on November 27."
"Jane Doe passed into eternity on April 13."
"Jim Doe lost his courageous battle with cancer."
2. Include peripheral information. Add names of extended family, employer, memberships, or organizations to provide a backdrop for the deceased individual's life. Understanding his or her family and professional life can help others appreciate things like character and personality as well as accomplishment.
3. List major achievements. These might be civic roles or leadership positions. Or they may include major events that stemmed from the person's skills, talents, or efforts. For example, your great-uncle may have built the town's first church steeple seventy years ago. Or your grandmother may have been known for pickles that took first prize each year at the county fair.
4. Give yourself time to think it over first. Don't rush into writing something off the top of your head. Jot down some ideas and then mull them over before dashing them off for others to read. You may want to check with another close friend or family member for a second opinion on the facts or details to be sure they're accurate.
5. Adopt a semi-formal tone. Avoid slang, since death is the final destination that elicits awe from all of us. But you don't want to be too formal, since the person probably didn't live in a formal way most of the time, at least around those who knew him or her best. Avoid "I" or "you" statements to keep from making it too personal. Stay in the third person, instead.
6. If you like, add a quote, Bible verse, or poem to enhance the reflective quality of the obituary. You can keep your tribute from sounding dull or mundane when you add a creative touch to make it distinctive or unique to the deceased.
7. Be sure to spell names correctly. Use a grammar check function to catch errors, and proofread names and dates. The newspaper editor may catch most of these, but don't count on that person to do all of the editing and proofreading.
Give your tribute careful thought and full attention, just as you would want the person who writes your obituary to do for you. Remember that your words will probably become the last view of the deceased to be shared with the community at large.
