Communication today is changing as fast as the newest gadget hits stores. E-mail, cell phones, and instant messages have made short, choppy messages a daily norm. This is fine for a quick clarification, a fast question, or a business reminder, but it lacks the personal feeling of really keeping in touch, even when you communicate with a person several times a day.
Top Five Reasons To Write Letters
Longer work hours, more self-employment, after school activities, and business travel keep most families moving at a hectic pace, usually away from one another. When you’re this busy, why take the time to write a letter?
1. Many people consider certain letters, such as thank you notes and birth announcements, to be a cultural necessity. Acknowledging a gift or event strengthens family connections. Failing to write such a note may well offend family members, even unintentionally.
2. Letters last longer than phone calls or e-mails. A letter may be saved in a scrapbook, reread again and again, and preserved to document a relationship or special occasion. By sending a letter, you’re sending far more than a few words on a page.
3. A letter can be a clear record of important information, such as a party’s date, time, and location. By taking the time to write this information down rather than relay it through a phone call, there is no miscommunication about the details, and no chance that an e-mail may be accidentally deleted.
4. Writing letters gives you the time to carefully choose your words, whether you’re angry, upset, or joyful. It is emotionally safer because you do not run the risk of talking to the recipient at the wrong time and feeling rejected, hurt, or ignored.
5. When you write a letter, you are telling the recipient that you took time from your busy schedule to think of them, to include them in your life in a more substantive way than hitting send or redial. Everyone receives mail, but rarely are bills and flyers viewed with the smile and warmth that a friendly letter will be.
I Can’t Write Like That!
“My dearest budding rose, my love is like the gentle bee upon the blossom drenched in radiant morning dew.”
If phrases like this spring to mind when you think of letter writing, don’t despair. Keeping in touch has changed drastically from the days of elaborate vocabulary, hand-pressed paper, and quill pens. Because of busier lives, today’s letters are shorter and easier to read. Furthermore, though your English teacher may disagree, personal letters are not strict about grammatical rules. When keeping in touch with family, it is more important to express your thoughts and enrich your relationship than to properly punctuate a participial clause.
A good letter is has many qualities. It is unique to both the sender and recipient: it couldn’t be photocopied and sent to different people. It is personal, sharing intimate moments and emotions between the correspondents. It asks questions, genuinely interested in the lives of both people, not just a memo about one person’s experiences. Simply put, today’s letter is not a school report – it is a chance to connect with someone close to you.
Letter length, though generally shorter than in the past, can still vary greatly. You must always consider the recipient: do you talk with the person often and write frequent letters? In that case, a short note would be entirely appropriate. On the other hand, if you only rarely write or have been out of touch for some time, a longer, more detailed letter is called for. Above all, you must always be considerate of the person you’re writing to, just as you would if you were sending a gift. A letter, after all, is the gift of communication, of strengthening a relationship.
Formatting A Personal Letter
Just as in person, appearances count when writing a letter. While letters to family are flexible, you have to keep certain considerations in mind.
Choose easy-to-read stationary, preferably with a personal touch. Notebook paper will do the job, but by using a special paper or note card, you are indicating that this is a special letter, something between friends. Be sure there is enough room to write without being cramped, but at the same time not leaving too much room left over. A lot of white space makes a letter look hasty and unfinished, as if you didn’t really want to write. Themed stationary is always popular, whether it’s for a holiday, season, or simply a favorite color. This adds another personal touch and makes a letter even more enjoyable.
A handwritten letter is generally preferable to a typed one. Depending on the circumstances, however, typing may be acceptable. For example, if your handwriting is barely legible on a good day and your aunt’s eyesight isn’t what it used to be, typing may be easier for you both. If you need to send a letter quickly, you can often type more than you would be able to write by hand. Furthermore, if the letter is very long, you might want to consider typing instead of sending a handwritten book. Whatever the reason for typing, choose a legible font (usually not a script or themed font), and keep the size readable – ten or twelve point font is a good size for nearly everyone.
A letter does not have to include just a few sheets of paper. To personalize a letter even more, consider enclosing pictures, confetti, pressed flowers or leaves, or even a coupon or newspaper clipping you think might be appreciated. These little extras really demonstrate that you are thinking of the recipient.
Another way to personalize a letter is to use a sticker as the envelope’s seal. Choose a coordinating theme or color, but be sure to position the sticker so it does not interfere with the return address if it is on the back of the envelope. For the same reason, stickers should not be placed on the front of the envelope.
What Not To Include
Even with family, flexibility has limitations. Conversations can be quickly forgotten or words taken back, but letters are far more permanent and once mailed, cannot be changed. Don’t write personal letters while you are angry or upset, or at least set them aside to review before mailing. Chances are you’ll find a lot you want to change. If you are writing about a new job or aspect of your life the recipient may not be familiar with, be sure to explain any jargon or acronyms. Finally, always remember that a letter, though intended to be private, may be read by other people, just as a conversation may be overheard. Take care with what you write to avoid hurting others’ feelings.
First Words – Beginning Your Letter
The hardest part of letter writing is getting those first crucial words onto the page. An easy strategy for planning a letter is to write a brief outline, even just a list of key topics that you want to include. When you start writing you may get wrapped up in describing one thing, and forget others that you’d wanted to mention. By jotting down a few key words as reminders, you’ll be able to write a coherent and interesting letter.
If you aren’t sure what you’d like to include in a letter, simply reread the last letter you received from that person. It will provide clues about topics they’re interested in and issues they’re concerned about, allowing you to write a more meaningful letter.
When writing to family, there is no need to include your address at the top of the paper, with two exceptions. First, if you haven’t written to this person before or it has been a long time, you can include your address for their reference. Second, if you’ve recently moved and want to be sure they have the correct address, by all means provide it. Never assume that the return address will be sufficient; many people will not check the return address after seeing the sender’s name, and it may have become illegible during delivery.
Use a comma after the greeting rather than a colon, which is considered formal and more appropriate for business correspondence. Depending on the tone of your letter, you might even consider an exclamation point or simply a dash rather than a standard comma.
The Body Of The Letter
Most schools teach that essays need three paragraphs to present arguments, evidence, or reasoning. While there is no formal standard for letters, the body of your letter should do three main things.
First, respond to the previous letter. By answering any questions and refreshing their memory, you demonstrate that you are indeed having a conversation rather than simply sending a news bulletin about your own life. Even if they didn’t ask any direct questions, be sure to make comments about what they wrote. This indicates that you were indeed “listening” to what they had to say.
Next, include any news in your life, even if it seems insignificant. Let the person know what you’ve been up to, such as events you’ve attended recently, upcoming plans, or anything in general that has been on your mind. Though you may not want to elaborate too much, discussing a number of different topics really lets the person know that you feel close to them and they’re a part of your life. As family members are separated by both time and distance more and more, those connections can be crucial.
Finally, ask questions of your own. This lets the recipient know that you are genuinely interested in communicating with them, and you’ve been paying enough attention to ask intelligent questions about their lives. This encourages people to write back more quickly and more frequently, and your relationships will strengthen because of it.
Last Words – Wrapping Up A Letter
When you’ve finished a letter, the hardest part may be saying good-bye. But why say good-bye? Letters can always be continued. Use an informal closing such as “Always” or “’Till Later” or even “XOXOXO” to convey your personality. Avoid using “Sincerely” or “Sincerely Yours” as these closings are most commonly found in formal, business correspondence.
Your signature should always be signed rather than typed, and inevitably you will write letters, sign your name, and then realize you left out one last thing you wanted to say. Voila – the postscript. Use a P.S. to add a small comment after your signature, but don’t say too much. After all, you don’t want to write another letter after you’ve already signed the first one!
Special Types of Letters
Even if you regularly write to all relatives, you will still need to send out specific notes for special occasions or events. You may choose a greeting card, but take care to always personalize it more than simply signing your name. Penning a sentence or two only takes a moment, and can mean far more than the most carefully chosen poem or sentiment. You could even skip the greeting card altogether and opt for themed stationary or seasonal note cards. Regardless of what you choose, special occasion notes require some special handling.
Thank You Notes: Always mention the specific gift, as well as how you intend to use it. Does it match your décor? Is it the right size? What purpose does it serve? Mentioning these things will let the gift-giver know how much you appreciate their thoughtfulness, and they will appreciate such a lovely thank you note.
Invitations and Announcements: When dated information is included, try to use bullet points to make it stand out so there is no misunderstanding about dates, times, and places. If an RSVP is required, it is courteous to allow recipients to respond in several ways: via e-mail, telephone, and so forth.
Get Well Cards: Take care not to minimize an illness or injury, and do not presume to give unsolicited advice. Simply wish the person well, and let them you know that you are thinking of them and if possible, that you’d like to help in any way you can.
Congratulations: Always be specific in acknowledging what deserves congratulations. Hard work, sacrifices, and a lot of struggle may be involved and the recipient will appreciate that you recognize their achievements.
Condolences: Write such a note for those living, not those who have passed away. Including a positive memory of the deceased lets the person know that you understand their loss and will miss the deceased as well.
Birthdays, Anniversaries and Holidays: Be sure to mail these notes early, especially around the December holiday season to insure that they arrive on time. If you are including a newsletter with holiday cards, be sure to keep it brief and don’t dwell on negative events. Furthermore, let adult children and other relatives speak for themselves: presumably everyone will be mailing out their own holiday cards.
Letter writing is a lost art, but it can be recovered with a little time and a lot of your own personality. For the cost of a few stamps and some stationary you can be more connected to your family than all the cell phones, pagers, and e-mail put together. You may discover things about your family that you never knew, and find that it’s all those little secrets, lovingly shared through the written word, that bring families closer with each delivery.
