Step 1: Put an End to Negative Inner Dialogue
Are you your own worst enemy? Do you tell yourself that you can’t achieve your goals and attain your dreams? Do you have a hard time believing others when they complimentary things about you? If you allow your negative self-talk to take control of your entire existence, you will be giving away your power to something that only exists within the confines of your self-abusing mind. You have control over your thoughts. You do. When self-defeating negativity enters your stream of consciousness, you can make a choice to turn the switch and think of something else. This can be a hard skill to learn if you have been fostering your negativity for years, but everyone has the innate ability to tap into the power of positive thinking. You need to rebuild your self-worth from the ground up so that you can start enjoying life and getting the most out of each day. It is helpful when you are first starting to develop your positive thinking skills to use verbalization and visualization.
When you catch yourself thinking negatively about yourself, say “stop!” out loud, and verbalize the positive version of the negative thought you were about to have. For example, if you were thinking, “I am never going to get that management position,” then you have to say aloud, “Stop! I can get that management position. I am qualified and I deserve the job.” Visualize yourself going through a successful job interview, and visualize yourself acting as the manager once you have gotten the job. If you are down on yourself for being overweight, don’t allow yourself to think, “I’m so fat and ugly, and I’ll never lose weight.” Rather, force yourself to say aloud, “I am beautiful and I can lose this weight because I have the inner strength to do it.” It may feel uncomfortable at first, but after time, your internal dialogue will begin to reflect a much more confident and positive mindset.
Step 2: Put Yourself First
You’ve heard it before and I’ll say it again: you are the master of your own destiny. You and you alone control your happiness and your fulfillment in life. You cannot rely on others to give you a sense of self-worth and accomplishment. You cannot get self-love from external sources, no matter how much you may wish you could. You may be ignoring your own needs in order to try to satisfy the needs of other people in your life, like you friends and family members. You are constantly doing for others so that you don’t have the down-time to face your own demons. Your friends and family will understand if you need to take some time to focus on your own issues. Your goal is to empower yourself, and that starts by admitting that you are worth empowering. Respect yourself enough to give yourself the time to get to know you again. Think about what you want to get out of life, and what you feel your life is missing. Acknowledge that you are worthy of your own attention. You will be a better friend and a better family member if you are a better you from the inside out.
Step 3: Set Goals and Meet Them
In order to become personally empowered, you have to set goals for yourself, and you have to go after those goals with blind ambition. Write down your top five goals, and then write down the steps that you will need to take in order to accomplish those goals. By the way, you should think big. You can have the life that you want to have; don’t try to confine your dreams and ambitions merely because you are afraid of failure. For example, if you are a forty-year old woman without a college education, and your goal is to become an elementary school teacher, don’t give up on that goal simply because it will take several steps to achieve it. Map out your steps, and go for it.
Step 4: Care about Your Body and Appearance
In order to feel personally empowered, you have to realize that you are worth caring about, not only on the inside, but on the outside as well. People who make unhealthy food choices and neglect their bodies and physical activity level often do so because they don’t think that they are worth taking care of. You deserve to eat healthy and nutritious foods. You deserve to get three to five days of exercise each week. You deserve to dress in a flattering way, and to have a nice hair style, and to have nicely manicured nails. Be the best you that you can be by fueling yourself with healthy foods and healthy behaviors.
