Tips on being a good wedding guest

When you are invited to a wedding, it is tempting to think of the ceremony and reception as one huge party where you can wear whatever you desire, drink to your heart’s content and act in whichever manner pleases you. After all, who is going to care, right? Wrong. There is an etiquette associated with being a wedding guest. If you are attending the wedding of a friend or relative in the near future, here are some tips and etiquette rules you will want to peruse and follow so you can be the kind of wedding guest that couples appreciate and love.

* When invitations to your friends’ or relatives’ weddings arrive in the mail, do you find yourself glancing them over, sticking them up with a magnet on your already crowded refrigerator and telling yourself you will RSVP later when you have more time? Most of us are guilty of putting off a task as simple as checking the “Yes” box and sending the RSVP back in the mail. If you want to be a fantastic wedding guest, check your schedule as soon as you get your invitation and send it back immediately. Sure, if you are best friends with the bride and she is pretty sure you are attending, you could just call her up and confirm, but many couples rely solely on the RSVPs to get a head count for catering and chairs, so always send in the RSVP and always send it in early. If a situation arises where you will no longer be able to attend, call the bride or groom immediately and let them know, so they can take you off the final headcount.

* If a certain type of attire (like black tie or Sunday dress) is required, it will usually be stated on the invitation. Be sure to dress appropriately for the wedding. If you are used to wearing t-shirts and sweat pants and the thought of having to wear a suit and tie is making you ill, you must simply suck it up. After all, the wedding reception and ceremony will only be for a few hours. If you are attending a religious ceremony that is different from your own, you may want to research what is deemed appropriate. For example, at a Muslim wedding, you would probably not want to wear a short skirt and sleeveless shirt, out of respect for the Muslim culture.

* Never bring along any uninvited guests. If the invitation says your name only, that means only you are invited. If the invitation states that you and one guest are invited, bring only one guest. Remember, the bride and groom (or their families) are footing the bill for the wedding and paying for each guest that attends. It is also not good manners to call up the bride and groom and ask if you can bring an extra guest with you, so refrain from doing this. If the invitation also includes your children, you can, of course, feel free to bring them along; however, if they start to get noisy or begin crying in the middle of the ceremony, immediately take them outside so as not to distract other guests.

* Be sure to get to the wedding on time. There is nothing more distracting than listening to the bride and groom reciting their vows and having somebody walk in during the middle of this interchange and clickety-clack all the way down the aisle to find a seat. If you are unable to get to the wedding on time, wait outside until a moment arises when you can rush in and find a seat without distracting the wedding party or the guests.

* When taking pictures during the ceremony and reception, always be mindful of the professional photographer that is on hand taking pictures for the couple. Sure, you want to get great shots, but the couple is paying for the photographer to be there, so stay out of the way.

* If at all possible, stay at the wedding ceremony and reception until the very end. I have attended way too many weddings where more than half of the guests leave after being fed, leaving the room half empty. Keep in mind how you would feel if half of your friends or relatives left in the middle of the reception. Have fun and be available to send the couple off at the end of the night!

* Sure, there may be an open bar, but that doesn’t mean you should get completely plastered. Drink in moderation so you can avoid embarrassing yourself and the couple, and so you can get home safely afterwards.