Kids and weddings: children in a wedding ceremony

Children can make a delightful addition to any wedding celebration. Chances are they will be just as enthusiastic, or even more so, than the other attendants of the wedding party. But, keep in mind; their patience and control of emotions will not be the same as an adult. Though their unexpected behavior can be the hit of the party and frequently cute, it can also be a distraction or lead to schedule delays and problems. So planning is the key to a successful and happy event. Whether needing the services of a flower girl/boy, junior bridesmaid, page, junior usher or ring bearer, use this guide to start the ball rolling.

Inquire the parents of the child first. They know their child best and can judge whether he or she is prepared for a wedding duty. Many times, the parents will end up encouraging and coaching the child so the responsibility is a shared one. If the parents are doubtful, don’t push the subject; move on and think of another option for that wedding role.

If the child is old enough to gauge time (months/days) be certain to ask for the child’s services early in your planning. And do ask them personally, it’s seems a great honor when adults ask kids something for a change and they too will enjoy the anticipation. Telling their friends about the big day, the fancy attire and the events surrounding the wedding will be just as exciting for them as for the bride or groom.

In general, most children are bored by long hours of shopping, sitting or standing so consider making special days for just for the kids. A quick fitting of a suit or dress followed by an ice cream social will be easier than having the children wait their turn at a tailor or dress shop. Make your time with them special and memorable. If timing problems arise and children must be present for a long duration, bring an activity to keep them busy. A disposable camera with instructions for the budding photographer or an empty scrapbook page that needs to be filled with the day’s events is a lifesaver.

Apply the same consideration to the children as to the adults. Include them in everything and spell out exactly what they should and shouldn’t do. Explain traditions and processes to them that may be familiar to everyone else.

Rehearsals are necessary and will be most successful with frequent and repetitive tries. Adults may be familiar with who will be where, when and what to do; but chances are this is a first the child. Go through all the wedding party roles to make it easier. In addition, if a child is supposed to stand in a special spot, mark that spot with tape; a box or the child’s initials will make it fun.

Some roles that children might play in your wedding party include:

A flower girl or boy, usually aged four to eight, walks down the aisle alone or with the ring bearer. The responsibility includes dropping flower petals onto the carpet to line the path for the bride. This guarantees a rosy life for the newlyweds. After the petals are spread, the flower girl/boy can stand with the wedding party during the service or sit with the wedding attendees. During the recession, the flower girl/boy can follow the bride and groom back down the aisle.

Ring bearers, usually aged four to eight, carry a decorated cushion with the wedding rings tied to it. If necessary, imitation rings can be used on the cushion while the wedding rings are given to the best man and maid of honor. The ring bearer can stand with the wedding party during the service or sit with the wedding attendees. During the recession, the ring bearer can follow the bride and groom back down the aisle.

Pages, aged four to seven, are boys or girls who carry the bride's train. They are used in pairs and usually appear only in very formal weddings. Pages usually sit with wedding attendees during the ceremony and may or may not follow the bride during the recession.

Junior bridesmaids aged eight to fifteen; wear dresses that are the same color and style as the other bridesmaids. A younger looking version or low heel might be appropriate. Many junior bridesmaids are children of the bride or groom and are given this honor to build bridges in the new relationship. Junior bridesmaids should have a specific role such as being in charge of the bride’s bouquet, the veil or train, or they are designated to hold the wedding ring instead of a ring bearer.

Junior ushers, aged eight to fifteen, wear the same styled formalwear as the other men in the wedding party. Their duties may include handing out wedding program, running last minute errands or carrying gifts from guests to a designated location. They may also assist in seating family members and close friends.

Young assistants, who perhaps are too young or reluctant to play a large role in the wedding, can still be made to feel important. A small task such as passing out directions to the reception, bags of rice for the bride and grooms departure, or carrying the tossable bouquet without dropping it, can make a big difference in how a child remembers the special day.

If a large number of children are present and not all can participate in the wedding, make their day extra special with the simply task of bubble guards. Each child receives a jar of soap bubbles and as the bride and groom depart for the reception, the bubble guards line up and blow the bubbles in their path. Don’t forget to thank all kids with a unique wedding favor that only they can appreciate.