Personal happiness: the top 5 ways women sabotage their own happiness

1. Giving up your dreams for a man.

Love is a strong emotion, and sometimes the power it has over women can cause them to lose sight of their personal ambitions. Women need to remember that they are as important a part of a couple as their male counterpart. If you have aspired to be an actress since you were just a child, and you have always been committed to going to a big city to realize that goal, then you should not give it up just because your man likes a more mellow country life. If you two don't have the same plans for life, then you have to remind yourself that your life plans are valid. If you settle into a stay-at-home life, fulfilling stereotypical wifely duties, then you will eventually become very resentful and bitter, not only towards your partner, but towards yourself. When you are dating and getting involved with men, don't hide your ambitious side. Let men know that you have ambitions in life that you are committed to achieving. If a man values you, then he will respect your dreams, and want to support you in making them come true.

2. Setting your sights too low.

Many women suffer from low self-esteem and negative self-images, and these are hard patterns of behavior to break. We are constantly bombarded with images of perfection and womanliness, and if we don't conform to that rigid mold, then we feel inadequate. It is time to stop letting society dictate your life choices. If you want to be a singer, you aren't required to be a carbon copy of a blonde bombshell pop star. You can't wait for society to change before you take it on -- you just have to grab the bull by the horns, and get in the game. Don't settle for singing in the church choir just because you are afraid of being rejected. Set the bar high, and be confident that you can reach it. If you have severe problems with your self-image, then you should invest in some professional counseling, so that you will learn the skills required to see the untapped potential that you possess.

3. Relying on your appearance.

If you want to change the negative perception that many have about women, then you have prove that you are not just a pretty face or a great body. When women allow themselves to be exploited because of their good looks, they are giving the whole female population a bad name. There is nothing wrong with being an attractive women -- at all. However, you have to work hard to prove that there is a fully-functioning brain behind the carefully-applied make-up. There are many good-looking women who use their looks and charms to get gifts, promotions -- even husbands. Doing this is really selling yourself short -- it is like admitting that there is nothing more significant about you than your attractiveness. The bottom line is that we are all going to age and sag and change, and you have to be prepared to have something more substantial to validate yourself than looks.

4. Women against women.

The battle of jealousy and cattiness rages on between women of all ages. Why are we our own worst enemies? So many women spend time making rude comments or harboring negative feelings towards their fellow females, and usually the driving force behind this malicious chatter is jealousy. Attractive women tend to get the brunt of this judgmental behavior, because other women envy the attention that these women get, particularly from the opposite sex. In the workplace, when a woman feels like she is being treated poorly in comparison to a strikingly attractive woman, she will typically resent the attractive woman, rather than the men who are treating the two of them differently. It is not the attractive woman's fault that she gets attention -- and it probably bothers her, too, because she knows that the interest in her is a result of her looks, not her talent or intelligence. Women need to get each other's backs, not stab each other in the backs!

5. Obsessing over the past.

Some women let their past play too big a role in their future. For example, a boyfriend cheated on you in your early-twenties, and you still fear relationships because you are afraid that you will end up with another cheater. We cannot deny ourselves the comforts of a relationship just to protect against potentially-hurt feelings. History can repeat itself, I will admit. There are no guarantees that your next partner will be faithful, but there is a guarantee that living in perpetual fear of being hurt is unhealthy, and far worse. If you don't think you have emotionally recovered from a past trauma, then talk to a counselor so that you can move on with your life!