I think that keeping in mind respect for your partner so that even when there is conflict, there is a certain level of respectful ways of dealing with each other. Many times, couples will have a conflict, and then if they don't quite know how to deal with it, they just poison the atmosphere even more by the sensitiveness and contentious language. Finding ways of relating to each other so that it is not an issue is what we have to deal with. The more the couples get into a posture of self preservation or self defense, then the worse a lot of those discussions can go. Part of the key is feeling there is one level of communication and having that clear. There are ways to do that. When there is not that negativity going on, make sure that you find time to feed the positive in the relationship. Make sure you are letting your partner know and having the time to do the things that you like to do together. A lot of couples start ignoring some of the feeding in the relationship. Feed it with appreciation, respect, or time together. People sense that the other person likes them in different ways and that's important as far as feeding the bank of affection and appreciation. So when you get into a difficult time, you can rely on that. There has been a solid foundation and solid bank of good feelings. So the bad feelings can just be momentary and not go to the core.
