Marriage Advice: How Moving Cross-Country Will Affect A Relationship

Are you and your partner planning to move across the country? Read ahead to learn how to keep your relationship strong during this major change.

Some couples find that a cross-country move, when made as a mutual decision, can actually bring them closer together and strengthens their relationship. Having to depend on one another for support while getting settled in a new city, not to mention the entire process of making a major decision together, can deepen the bond of a life partnership. However, change can be stressful, and moving across the country, while often for positive reasons, can also create tense situations.

First, when moving to a new city, often a couple's finances will drastically change. For example, suppose a couple moves because one partner has been relocated or has received a better job offer. In that case, the couple will probably be in a better financial position than before. Perhaps the couple now has fewer worries about money and has more freedom to take vacations, eat out, and enjoy other luxuries. Financial security is one important factor to our overall happiness, and this can be a positive change for a couple.

However, if a couple moves because of a job offer to one partner, what about the other partner? What will he or she do in this new city? To allow one member of a couple to pursue an incredible opportunity, sometimes the other member of the couple must sacrifice his or her own present work situation. Even when that person agrees to the move for logical reasons, he or she might still feel frustrated by having to look for a new job in a new city. And in a tight job market, that search can be difficult.


It is also important to take into account the cost of living in the new city. If the cost of living is significantly lower than in their previous city, then obviously, they will have more disposable income and more financial freedom. If, however, the cost of living is higher, then they might need to adjust their lifestyle to account for this change. Research shows that the most common fight among couples is regarding money, so communication and careful planning are important.

When moving across the country, the members of the couple cannot, obviously, take their friends and family with them. Starting over in a new city is difficult, and both partners might feel lonely. This is especially true if one partner is unemployed---he or she might feel as though the other partner at least has work, but he or she has nothing. Again, it is vital for both partners to communicate openly and honestly. Both members of the couple must speak freely, without blaming the other party, about his or her fears, concerns, desires, and needs. Then, the couple can take action to remedy situations. Suppose one member of the couple is concerned about not having any friends in the new city. To meet new people, the couple could plan to take a class together or host a neighborhood get-together. And if the couple belongs to a church or a national club or organization, then they can contact a local branch and get involved right away.

In a major change such as a move, compromises must be made, but solutions to problems should always satisfy both partners. Planning ahead can help. For example, suppose that a move is bringing the couple closer to one partner's family but far away from the other partner's family. In addition, the move is to a more expensive city, making money tighter. The partners agree that they will take short trips by car throughout the year to visit the nearby family, and they will set aside enough money every year to fly for a long vacation with the distant relatives. Remember, a move can only be successful if it is a win-win situation for both members of the couple. Keep the lines of communication open and plan ahead, and hopefully your cross-country move will be a fun, exciting event!

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