Marriage: What You And Your Husband Should Discuss Before Getting Married

You're about to take the plunge into married life, but before you do, make sure you sit down with your husband or wife-to-be and discuss these important topics.

You look at him and he looks back at you and instead of a round pupil, three is a heart-shaped pupil. People can practically see the cupids flying overhead, pummeling your bodies with arrows of love. Now you two have decided to go from courtship to dating, from dating to getting engaged and from getting engaged to planning a wedding. There will be a need to make some hard fast decisions concerning the reception hall, the caterers, the flowers and the wedding cake. However, before you get too overwhelmed with planning the wedding, you two may need to get together for a little heart-to-heart and discuss some important matters.


Right now you both probably have separate checking and savings accounts and have pretty much been independent regarding financial decisions. In other words, you didn't have to alert anybody when you decided to go out and purchase a new cd or those new shoes. Before you get married, you both will need to decide how you will account for your money. For example, will you keep separate bank accounts or will you create a joint account? Will you divvy up the monthly bills or simply divide the amount of bills by two and split them up that way? Above and beyond everything, the number one cause of fights between a couple is money. If you make significantly more than your spouse, how will the money be divided up? Maybe you will take on more of the bills since you bring in more. Even if you do not yet live together, go over a typical spreadsheet of the monthly bills and expenses alongside your monthly incomes and try out (on paper) different financial scenarios.


It is not uncommon for one member of a couple to be more thrifty than the other member of the couple. Maybe you love throwing your money around and, thus, have yet to save any money for an emergency fund or retirement, whilst your soon-to-be spouse has been meticulously putting money away since he/she was fifteen. While looking at your financial spreadsheet, go over how much money has been saved already and how much in debt you may be due to student loans, credit cards, car notes, loans and mortgages. If at all possible, consult a financial adviser to help you figure out how to get out of debt quickly as well as how much money you should be putting aside for a comfortable retirement.


Do you know if your soon-to-be spouse wants kids? If so, do you know how many kids he/she wants? It is vital that you and your fiancé discuss this extremely important matter. You might find out that your fiancé doesn't really see kids in his future while you have always thought you would have a large family. Get this issue out in the open as soon as possible to prevent any major arguments or surprises later on. If you two plan on having kids, discuss what possible options exist for raising the child. For example, would one of you want to stay at home with the child until they go to school?


If either or both of you are religious, do your religions "mesh?" Will one of you choose to convert to the other's religion? If one half of the couple is, say, Catholic and the other half considers herself atheist, will that pose a problem? Will your religious values affect your sexual values? For instance, some religions do not believe in any form of birth control, including condoms or birth control pills. Religious values are definitely a topic worth spending some time on.

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