Adolescence is a rough period for teens, kids and parents, but here are ten things to watch for as you and your child navigate the teen years.
Adolescence is a tough time for both kids and parents. So many changes are going on the teenager's life - physical, emotional, and social. Here are ten things to watch for as you and your child navigate the teen years.
Depression is probably the most common mental health problem in adolescence. Teenagers are known to be temperamental, but depression goes far behind a little moodiness. These are the signs to look for. Your child is constantly withdrawn and grouchy. He loses interest in activities he used to enjoy. He has trouble sleeping or his sleep habits drastically change - for example, he starts staying awake all night and sleeping all day. Your teenager starts having trouble at school when he has always been a good student. He has frequent stomachaches or other ailments and his doctor can find nothing physically wrong with him. He has unexplained bouts of anger or lethargy, and may be oversensitive to criticism. The teen may use drugs or alcohol. He may even talk about death and suicide.
Eating disorders affect girls much more often than boys. Anorexia causes the teenager to starve herself. She thinks she is overweight when she may in fact be very thin. An anorexic teen might exercise excessively and be secretive about food. At the extremes, she will only weigh about 85% of her normal body weight. When a teen has bulimia, she will eat a large amount of food at meals but will purge herself of it later by vomiting. The bulimic teen also believes that she is very fat regardless of her true weight. She might also use diet pills or laxatives to help lose weight.
Self-injuring behaviors, such as cutting or burning oneself, may result from feelings of loneliness, emptiness and disconnection from others. The teenager may feel unable to communicate her emotions and may feel that she is not allowed to express anger or sadness. This behavior is more common in adolescent girls than boys. Look for cuts on the teen's arms and legs. If the teen insists on wearing long-sleeved shirts and long pants in warm weather, she might be hiding the scars from cutting or burning herself.
Social anxiety disorder reveals itself in a real fear of public situations, such as speaking before a class or dating. The teen might be perfectly comfortable with some public activities, such as playing sports, while being terrified of others. The teen might sweat profusely, blush, become short of breath, and have a rapid heartbeat. He might be unable to concentrate. He will try to avoid the situations that make him uncomfortable. He might refuse to go to school and turn down party invitations.
Bipolar disorder, or manic-depression, evinces itself in extreme mood swings. In the manic stage, the teen will be overconfident, believing that he can do anything whether it is really possible or not. He will engage in risky behavior, such as using drugs and alcohol or being sexually promiscuous. The teen will jump from one interest to another without completing any one project. In the depressive stage, he might withdraw from all his friends and his family. He might cry all the time, and express feelings of worthlessness. He will not be able to handle even the mildest criticism and will have no energy for the things he loved to do. He might think of suicide. Upsetting events may trigger the bouts of mania or depression.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is characterized by the performance of rituals for more than one hour per day. The rituals might include counting, doing things a set number of times, or washing one's hands an excessive amount of times each day. The teen with OCD might be obsessed with making sure that objects are in a certain order, or lined up in a specific way. The rituals are performed in order to drive out obsessive thoughts. These thoughts might be about harm coming to a parent, sexual thoughts that are frightening or disgusting to the teen, violence, or being convinced that everything he touches is unclean or covered with germs. Even though the teenager with OCD realizes that his compulsive actions are pointless, he is unable to stop them.
Being bullied is all too common in adolescence. Bullies generally pick on kids who are perceived as weak, different or unpopular. The bully will try to get a group of people to harass and intimidate the victim with him. While boy bullies may use physical violence, girls tend to bully by gossiping about or ignoring the victim. Signs that a child is being bullied might include unexplained bruises, coming home from school without some personal possessions, coming home hungry because he had no lunch, sleeping poorly, and unexplained physical ailments such as stomach aches and headaches. The teen may try to avoid places where he will see the bully, such as school, and start to do poorly in school. Being bullied does great damage to a teenager's self-esteem. A teenager who is a bully, on the other hand, has high self-esteem and expects everyone around him to do as he wishes. He is aggressive and has little empathy for others.
Drug and alcohol abuse may occur during your child's teen years. Teenagers like to experiment. They may experience pressure from their friends and classmates to try alcohol and drugs. Some teenagers will become dependent upon them. Signs that your teen may have a problem with drugs or alcohol are lessened personal hygiene; hangover symptoms such as vomiting and headaches; bloodshot eyes; used rags (They are used with inhalants.), empty bottles, or pipes in his room; needle marks; and drastic changes in sleeping and eating habits.
Teenagers may also be pressured into sexual activity when they are not ready for it. Girls may feel the need to dress in a more provocative way than they feel comfortable with, just to fit in. The message of many of the movies, television shows, and music aimed at teens today is that being sexually active at an early age is a good thing and that the teen who is not is really out of it. Girls may feel pressured to have sex when they are not emotionally ready. Boys who have absorbed the message of having sex at all costs may make inappropriate comments to the girls they know and some have even forced girls into sexual acts. Sexual harassment suits have been files against high schools because of the prevalence of inappropriate comments and touching in these schools.
Finally, the teenager may be under a lot of stress because of the demands of school, family, outside activities, and even a job. Many teenagers today try to do too much. They take on the hardest classes in order to get into a better college. They have a multitude of after school activities, leaving them less time to do their homework (or to relax), which in turn may cause them to stay up very late and not get enough sleep. Add a part-time job and the normal ups and downs of relationships with families and friends into this mix, and it is a sure recipe for stress.
The best thing you can do for your teenager during these tumultuous years to listen to him and love him. Always let him know that you are there for him, no matter what. Get professional help for your teen when appropriate, such as when he is depressed or has an addiction to drugs or alcohol. Intervene for him at school if he is being bullied or sexually harassed. With you as your teen's champion and guide, he will make it safely through this difficult time.
