Personal Interaction Tips: Dealing With An Insecure Man

Dealing with an insecure man can be very difficult, but if you know how to handle the situation, then it will be easier to deal with.

QUESTION HIS MOTIVES

Why is he so insecure?It could be that he grew up with the insecurities that he is still exhibiting.Perhaps he was bullied in school, or he was very awkward-looking.If he was picked on as a kid, then he probably battles the fear of rejection and is very paranoid about the image he is projecting to you.He will have a hard time believing that you actually like him, or even love him.Maybe he is insecure because his last girlfriend was unfaithful.If your guy has recently been burned by another woman, then he will have less confidence in the female gender altogether, and he may be very bitter and cautious.He may be hesitant to put his trust in you because he fears that you will betray him.He could also be insecure because he feels intimidated by you.Many men are intimidated by women in powerful positions, such as a prestigious job or financial prowess.He feels inadequate to you, emasculated.It is possible that he has never been challenged by a woman in the way that you challenge him.Maybe his parents had a very old-fashioned traditional relationship: dad in the workforce, mom in the kitchen.He is viewing you more as competition than as a girlfriend.Once you have determined the root of his insecurities, it will be easier to understand him.

IS HE WORTH IT?

If you have an insecure guy on your hands, then you have to decide whether or not he is worth putting up with.If his insecurities lead to jealousy, then you might not want to waste your time.Many insecure guys want to have complete control over the relationship.They are afraid that if you are independent, then you will find a better guy or a better way to spend your time.They will try to keep a short leash on you, and you are likely to feel smothered.If you feel like your man is trying to get you to behave like a professionally trained dog, then you should get yourself out of the situation.If you stay in a controlling and jealous relationship, then you are leaving yourself open to the risk of a very unhealthy and possibly abusive relationship.If your guy is too insecure to trust you, then you are going to spend half of your time together defending what you are doing when you are not with him.It's not your fault, for example, that his last girlfriend cheated on him.Remind him that you are not his ex, and unless he wants you to become an ex, he has to learn to trust you.If you feel that his insecurities are mild, and he is just somewhat unsure of himself, then you have a better chance of making things work.It is common to have some insecurity -- you probably have a few of your own.You can't expect your guy to be perfect, but you have to require that he makes an effort to get over his insecurities, and not let them ruin your relationship.Don't waste your time trying to rid a control-freak of his jealousy and insecurities -- you are better off without him in the long run.

PROVIDE REASSURANCE

It can be annoying when people fish for compliments, and insecure people love fishing!Instead of dealing with the "I look so awful in this shirt, don't I?" questions, that are bait for the "No.You look great in that" answers, pre-empt his self-deprecation by complimenting him before he has the opportunity to put himself down.Make a point on complimenting his appearance -- his outfit, his arms, his hair, etc.You shouldn't have to make something up if you are actually attracted to this guy (and if you aren't attracted to him, then you should be reading an article about how to break up with an insecure guy).If you compliment him and you are still met with his insecure bashing, then tell him that that the only unattractive thing you can point out is his attitude.Explain that confidence is very attractive, and tell him that it bothers you to hear him constantly putting himself down.Tell him that you understand that he is insecure, but that your feelings are genuine, and if you thought he wasn't worth hanging out with, then you wouldn't be there.If you remind your guy of how special he is to you, then he might start to see those qualities in himself.Girls can easily relate to feelings of inadequacy most of the time, because in today's society we are bombarded by images of the perfect female (skinny, blonde, big-chested, straight-teethed perfection).Explain to him that you understand how he feels, but that you want him to feel good about himself so that you can develop a healthy relationship.After all, if he doesn't love himself, how can you expect him to love you?



DON'T FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE

Some women fall into the trap of combating an insecure and jealous boyfriend by becoming insecure and jealous themselves.Well, two wrongs don't make a right.When a man is constantly insecure about his appearance, it can make a woman wonder if he is holding her up to the same high and unrealistic standards of attractiveness.It can really make a woman paranoid.On the same hand, if a man is regularly exhibiting signs of jealousy towards his girlfriend, she might start to wonder if he is just diverting the attention from being faithful himself.A relationship that persistently has you questioning yourself is not a good relationship to be a part of.It is unhealthy.If you are having these feelings, you have to lay all of your proverbial cards on the table.Talk to your boyfriend about the way his insecurities and the jealousy that stems from the insecurities are ruining your relationship.If he is not willing to make a commitment to change, then you have to make the right choice for yourself, and get out of the unhealthy relationship.

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