Dealing with an insecure man can be very difficult, but if you know how to handle the situation, then it will be easier to deal with.
Why is he so insecure?It could be that he grew up with the insecurities that he is still exhibiting.Perhaps he was bullied in school, or he was very awkward-looking.If he was picked on as a kid, then he probably battles the fear of rejection and is very paranoid about the image he is projecting to you.He will have a hard time believing that you actually like him, or even love him.Maybe he is insecure because his last girlfriend was unfaithful.If your guy has recently been burned by another woman, then he will have less confidence in the female gender altogether, and he may be very bitter and cautious.He may be hesitant to put his trust in you because he fears that you will betray him.He could also be insecure because he feels intimidated by you.Many men are intimidated by women in powerful positions, such as a prestigious job or financial prowess.He feels inadequate to you, emasculated.It is possible that he has never been challenged by a woman in the way that you challenge him.Maybe his parents had a very old-fashioned traditional relationship: dad in the workforce, mom in the kitchen.He is viewing you more as competition than as a girlfriend.Once you have determined the root of his insecurities, it will be easier to understand him.
IS HE WORTH IT?
PROVIDE REASSURANCE
It can be annoying when people fish for compliments, and insecure people love fishing!Instead of dealing with the "I look so awful in this shirt, don't I?" questions, that are bait for the "No.You look great in that" answers, pre-empt his self-deprecation by complimenting him before he has the opportunity to put himself down.Make a point on complimenting his appearance -- his outfit, his arms, his hair, etc.You shouldn't have to make something up if you are actually attracted to this guy (and if you aren't attracted to him, then you should be reading an article about how to break up with an insecure guy).If you compliment him and you are still met with his insecure bashing, then tell him that that the only unattractive thing you can point out is his attitude.Explain that confidence is very attractive, and tell him that it bothers you to hear him constantly putting himself down.Tell him that you understand that he is insecure, but that your feelings are genuine, and if you thought he wasn't worth hanging out with, then you wouldn't be there.If you remind your guy of how special he is to you, then he might start to see those qualities in himself.Girls can easily relate to feelings of inadequacy most of the time, because in today's society we are bombarded by images of the perfect female (skinny, blonde, big-chested, straight-teethed perfection).Explain to him that you understand how he feels, but that you want him to feel good about himself so that you can develop a healthy relationship.After all, if he doesn't love himself, how can you expect him to love you?
DON'T FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE
Some women fall into the trap of combating an insecure and jealous boyfriend by becoming insecure and jealous themselves.Well, two wrongs don't make a right.When a man is constantly insecure about his appearance, it can make a woman wonder if he is holding her up to the same high and unrealistic standards of attractiveness.It can really make a woman paranoid.On the same hand, if a man is regularly exhibiting signs of jealousy towards his girlfriend, she might start to wonder if he is just diverting the attention from being faithful himself.A relationship that persistently has you questioning yourself is not a good relationship to be a part of.It is unhealthy.If you are having these feelings, you have to lay all of your proverbial cards on the table.Talk to your boyfriend about the way his insecurities and the jealousy that stems from the insecurities are ruining your relationship.If he is not willing to make a commitment to change, then you have to make the right choice for yourself, and get out of the unhealthy relationship.
