A complete planning checklist for a church wedding with nondenominational discussion of religious requirements and considerations, broken into increments.
With careful planning and respectful attention to the church's requirements, a church wedding can be a momentous ritual for everyone involved. To that end, it is important that the couple follow a checklist for the necessary preparations. Some details can take more than a year to arrange, and a checklist serves both as a reminder and a plan.
Church Weddings: 9 - 12 Months Ahead
After announcing their engagement, the happy couple must start planning right away. If any obstacles occur, there is still plenty of time to make alternate arrangements. Larger churches may have a staff wedding coordinator to help answer questions about requirements and restrictions, and to offer advice about all aspects of wedding planning. If a coordinator is not available, a private consultant can be hired.
Introduce the families: If the bride's and groom's families have not met, this should be one of the first tasks completed. This is a good opportunity for the families to get acquainted and begin acclimating to different traditions and cultures. If the two families have different religious backgrounds, getting to know one another can smooth over potential difficulties when planning a church wedding.
Set the date: For a church wedding, be sure to inquire about restricted dates and seasons that may coincide with religious holidays when weddings cannot be performed. Be aware of other weddings that may occur on the same day and schedule your ceremony with sufficient time so other ceremonies do not interfere.
Choose the site: If choosing a church you do not regularly attend, inquire about any attendance requirements for the couple.
Decide the formality: Formal and informal weddings have very different requirements, including the location, type of attire, and invitation wording. Most churches are willing to host both types of ceremonies, provided the religious requirements are met.
Choose the attendants: Before asking your friends to participate in your wedding, be certain of any religious requirements. Strict churches may require participants to meet certain obligations, including faith or attendance.
Decide on a budget: This includes the costs of attire, flowers, food, music, photography, and more. Don't forget to figure in tips for the vendors, including an honorarium that may be due to the clergy on the day of the wedding.
Discuss plans with the officiant: If your wedding has any special considerations, such as a previous divorce or differing faiths, it is imperative to discuss these with the ceremony officiant. It may be possible to arrange for two officiants to honor different faiths, or there may necessary paperwork for a previously divorced bride or groom.
Church Weddings: 6 - 9 Months Ahead
Create a guest list: While it's never easy to decide who should be invited to the celebration, it is necessary to begin this task early. Take into consideration parking available at the church, as well as the interior space for seating during the ceremony.
Order invitations and announcements: Order a few extra invitations for unexpected additions to your guest list. Be sure to check with the church for the formal title and address, especially in large cities that may have churches with similar names. If you have many out-of-town guests, consider including directions to the church and reception sites.
Discuss ceremony details: Most wedding ceremonies include several readings that are special to the couple, whether religious passages or sentimental favorites. Some churches only allow specific readings while others are more open to different material, but the officiant should have the opportunity to review your selections. This is also important if you write your own vows - the officiant will still need to review what you have written well in advance of the ceremony. Also discuss decorating restrictions such as flowers, photography, and rice or birdseed that may be used as you leave.
Choose wedding party attire: Wedding gowns come in all shapes and sizes, but take care to honor the church's requirements when selecting an ensemble. Some churches may require sleeves or high necklines, both for the bride as well as the bridesmaids. Most gown manufacturers offer wraps or other garments that conform to religious requirements.
Order wedding rings: Rings should be chosen several months in advance so that they can be appropriately sized. If they are to be blessed during the ceremony, inquire about whether or not they should be delivered to the church early.
Organize vendors: This includes photographers, videographers, musicians, caterers, and florists. Discuss any special arrangements or restrictions with the church before signing service contracts. For example, many churches may not allow flash photography or videotaping, or certain types of floral arrangements may not be permitted. While it should be permissible to hire outside musicians, the music selections may need to be approved. If your religion has special dietary requirements, be sure to include these in your discussion with the caterer.
Arrange premarital counseling: Most churches require couples to attend premarital counseling to discuss their commitment. These sessions may be spread over several weeks or take place over a single intensive weekend.
Send save-the-date cards: These quick notes inform out-of-town guests of your wedding date long before invitations are issued. This helps them plan for time off work and necessary travel, and is considered a courtesy to your guests. Information about the church location may or may not be included.
Church Weddings: 3 - 6 Months Ahead
Arrange a physical and blood test: This information may be necessary to obtain a marriage license, and it is better to complete it when the wedding is still several months away, rather than while you are stressed out over the final preparations. Your church may need verification of this information as well.
Register for wedding gifts: If you are choosing to complete a registry, you should do so before sending invitations. While it is considered inappropriate to include registry information in invitations, especially for a formal church wedding, many guests will ask for hints right away so they are not purchasing gifts at the last minute.
Begin honeymoon plans: If you are planning a honeymoon, whether a lengthy getaway or simply a quiet wedding night, be sure to plan the travel details well in advance. Include how you will have tuxedos returned, the wedding gown cleaned, and any gifts taken to your home while you are away.
Arrange trial runs for hair and makeup: It is important to arrange a trial with your hair stylist and makeup artist, if applicable. Bring along your veil and headpiece to experiment with different styles, but bear in mind any restrictions the church may place on head coverings when choosing a final arrangement.
Church Weddings: 2 Months Ahead
Mail invitations: Have a sample invitation weighed at the post office to insure that you use accurate postage, especially if you are including response cards, seating cards, and directions. The officiant's invitation can be mailed or hand-delivered.
Design programs and favors: While not required, many couples offer wedding programs to inform guests about the parts of the ceremony including readings, participants, and symbolism. Large churches may have a sample program you can adapt to fit your ceremony. Wedding favors are customary but not required at the reception, and may range from small tokens of candy to more elaborate gifts for each guest including picture frames, candles, or charitable donations.
Secure rental items: Depending on the location of the ceremony and reception, you may need to rent tables, chairs, linens, china, or decorations. Check with the church to determine what materials are on hand, as well as what restrictions they place on items (including flowers and candles) used to decorate the church.
Begin name change paperwork: If the bride is changing her name, the paperwork can take several weeks to complete. Include items such as credit cards, social security card, loans, titles, passport, driver's license, and leases that use the bride's maiden name. A letter from your clergy testifying to your wedding plans may be helpful to complete this paperwork. This is also a good time to file an address change if necessary.
Schedule alterations: The wedding gown should be altered to insure the best fit. Be certain the seamstress is aware of any restrictions such as sleeves, an open back, or the height of the neckline before alterations are completed.
Order the wedding cake: Attend a sample tasting to choose the best cake, and be sure to take into consideration any dietary requirements of your guests (diabetic, kosher, vegetarian, etc.) when arranging the cake and other food.
Confirm vendors: Review and confirm contracts, negotiate changes, and provide vendors with any material they require. You may need to provide a play list for musicians to insure that the music does not conflict with the church's requirements. You should also provide a "must have" photograph list, and remind the photographer of any restrictions during the ceremony.
Reserve transportation: If you choose to rent a limousine or other transportation to the church or reception, be certain there is ample parking at the church and that cars can remain parked for the appropriate length of time.
Arrange hotel space for out-of-town guests: As a courtesy, you should reserve blocks of hotel rooms for out-of-town guests so they can take advantage of special rates. If possible, the accommodations should be convenient to the church to allow everyone to arrive on time to the ceremony. You may also want to prepare welcome gifts for these guests, including directions to local attractions and restaurants, as well as updated information about the time and location of the wedding. Such thoughtfulness will be appreciated.
Church Weddings: 1 Month Ahead
Secure the marriage license: Typically, both bride and groom need to be present to arrange for the marriage license, and it will need to be signed by your officiant and witnesses before it is filed.
Send in newspaper announcement: Most newspapers publish wedding announcements weekly with information about the couple and location, so be careful of the formal spelling of the church's name.
Take bridal portraits: If you wish to include a bridal portrait with the newspaper announcement, you will need to arrange a photo session long before the wedding. This is a good opportunity to rehearse your hair and makeup, as well as test final alterations. Most churches will be willing to allow photos on the grounds, or you can arrange for off-site photos.
Clean and press gown: Allow ample time for your gown to be cleaned and pressed before the ceremony, and be sure to store it in a safe location after the final fitting. Some churches will allow you to store your gown at the church, especially if you will be getting ready there on your wedding day.
Schedule hair and makeup appointments: Be sure to schedule these appointments early enough on your wedding day to leave sufficient time for photography and minor delays before the ceremony. Remind your stylists of religious restrictions or provide photographs of your trial runs if necessary.
Write thank you notes for pre-wedding parties: Bridal showers, bachelor and bachelorette parties, and engagement parties all require heartfelt notes. Include a sincere note to church officials who have helped you to comply with their requirements and steered you through the maze of wedding planning.
Church Weddings: 2 Weeks Ahead
Confirm participants' schedule: Provide your attendants, parents, and anyone helping to set up or clean up the ceremony and reception sites with a wedding day schedule. Be certain to caution them to respect other weddings that may be taking place on the same day, and remind them of religious restrictions on decorations or other details.
Contact silent guests: Even though your invitation clearly stated "RSVP," there will undoubtedly be guests who fail to let you know whether or not they will be attending. A quick phone call can solve many mysteries and help you arrange seating at both the ceremony and the reception. If you cannot contact all guests, assume that approximately seventy-five percent of them will be attending, and provide a final count to the caterer.
Confirm legal documents: Be certain that all marriage license requirements are met, as well as any necessary religious documents. Keep copies of these documents in several locations for extra assurance that they will be available.
Confirm all attire: Be sure that bridesmaids, groomsmen, and any other participants have picked up their attire and that it is altered appropriately. Remind them of religious restrictions on clothing and accessories at the church.
Break in shoes: If you are wearing new shoes for your wedding, spend some time breaking them in and scuffing the bottoms to be sure they will not slip. This is especially important if the church has wooden or marble floors and stairs.
Prepare an emergency kit: Safety pins, tissues, a small sewing kit, spare makeup, and aspirin are good items to have on hand for last-minute wedding day mishaps.
Church Weddings: 1 Week Ahead
Pack for honeymoon: Include travel documents and name change paperwork for a hassle-free trip.
Arrange receiving line: A receiving line allows the bride and groom, along with their parents and honor attendants, to greet each guest. This may be done at the church or the reception, but be sure that the church has sufficient space and time if necessary.
Furnish tips: Place tips for vendors, including the officiant, in clean envelopes and entrust them to a friend or family member to distribute on the day of the wedding.
Arrange quiet time: In the rush of last-minute preparations, it is easy to forget the person whom you're planning for - your future spouse. Spend some quiet time together during these last few days to renew your commitment to one another.
With careful planning, a church wedding can be a romantic, joyous celebration. While meeting religious requirements as well as standard wedding preparations may seem daunting, a detailed checklist insures that nothing is neglected, from attire restrictions to floral arrangements. That meticulous planning will pay off with a coordinated, momentous occasion to be lovingly remembered for many anniversaries to come.
