Pregnancy: How To Console A Friend Who Has A Miscarriage

If you have a friend or family member who has recently suffered a miscarriage, here are some tips to keep in mind when talking with them about it.

For most couples, the second they have the pregnancy test in their hand that shows a positive test, that baby that is growing inside of the mother's womb is as real as a baby in their arms. They may have already named their unborn baby or given him/her a nickname. There will be ultrasounds where the heartbeat is heard and tests given to make sure the baby is doing well. Despite all of this, however, it is said that one-tenth of all pregnancies are likely to end in a miscarriage. A miscarriage usually occurs within the first twenty four weeks of pregnancy and is, essentially, the loss of the unborn baby. If you have a friend who has recently suffered a miscarriage, here are some tips on how to offer your consolation.

* There are some phrases you will want to avoid when attempting to console your friends. You will not want to say, "It happens." Sure, they may rationally understand that miscarriages do, indeed, just happen sometimes, but saying a phrase like that during a grieving period often discounts and undermines the emotions the grievers are feeling. For a couple who has suffered a miscarriage, the loss is as real as if they had lost a baby that was already born, so do not take the miscarriage lightly. You will also not want to say something like, "I know how you feel" or "I understand" unless you do understand and have gone through something like this before and can offer advice.

* Be a sounding board. If you are not the best listener in the world right now, you better try to be when you are talking to them and hearing their story. Let your friend or family member vent without you jumping in with a story of your own or without immediately offering advice on how they should feel or what they should do to feel better. Let them talk without interruption.

* If your normally active and vivacious friend is now becoming moody and depressed, give him/her time to come into his/her own and go through their grief period. Be patient with your friend or family member and they will soon come around.

* If your friend or family member who suffered the loss is up for it, take him/her out wherever they wish to go. Maybe they have always found the bookstores relaxing and peaceful. Take them to the local bookstore and out for a bite to eat afterward. Do not dwell on their recent miscarriage, especially if they are not dwelling on it themselves.

* If worse comes to worse and you can't quite figure out what to do about your friend, be bold and ask him/her what it is he/she needs right now. Let them know that you are sorry for what happened and that you are there for them for whatever it is they may need. Some couples will withdraw into themselves and separate themselves from everybody, while other couples will mourn for a few days and then be a-ok right after that.

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