There are many pros and cons to sharing a bed with your children. Decide if co-sleeping together is best for your family.
It is an idea that brings with it extreme controversy, but co-sleeping is something that many people consider to be beneficial to their family and children. Co-sleeping, or the family bed, is the sharing of one bed for all family members or just the mother and her children.
Though it may not seem like a good idea to most people in the American culture, many people today are choosing co-sleeping as an option for bonding and togetherness. Most adults wish to keep their bed private and to themselves as that seems to be the only sanctuary left to them after children come along. In many cultures co-sleeping is the rule and not the exception so it can be hard to decipher the pros and cons. There is much evidence to suggest that co-sleeping could actually be beneficial to children but there is also evidence that it could be harmful. A look at both sides of the argument may help make your decision easier.
Co-sleeping can offer the chance for mother and father to bond with the baby during the night that they may miss out on during the day if they both work. Co-sleeping also provides for less sleepless nights as babies who sleep with their parents are less likely to wake up in the middle of the night and they will usually fall back to sleep very quickly if they do wake up. Some studies show that there is a decrease in SIDS with babies who co-sleep because the baby is right near the mother and if something goes wrong it can be noticed more quickly. There are studies that show that children who co-sleep are more independent, outgoing, and have better self-esteem. It has been shown that a baby who sleeps next to his mother assumes the same breathing pattern and body temperature. It seems like a natural thing to do, however, there are downsides to co-sleeping as well.
Co-sleeping may not be for everyone. Parents might not be able to sleep deeply for fear of crushing or rolling on top of the baby. In fact, parents who do sleep very deeply might in fact roll on top of a baby. There is a decided lack of privacy between the parents and it can be difficult to stay up late or wake up early. Babies could be smothered by pillows or comforters or could become injured by falling off the bed. Spontaneous lovemaking usually becomes a thing of the past when children share a bed with their parents. When your child does eventually move to his own bed he may have trouble soothing himself to sleep. You may also face harsh criticism from people who believe bed sharing is wrong and continue to ask you when your child will sleep in his own bed. You might find that every little problem your child might experience will be blamed on co-sleeping.
Although in other countries co-sleeping is normal and widely accepted it is something of a taboo here in America. You should weigh all of the information carefully and do what feels right for you and your family. If you are worried about safety in the family bed there are specially designed sleeping areas that can be attached to the side of your bed to keep baby next to you and safe at the same time. Another option is to have the baby sleep in a bassinet next to your bed until he becomes a little older. Above all, don't be influenced by friends and family who wish to impose their own beliefs onto your family. You know what is best for you.
