Is a relationship just a matter of work? A relationship is a puzzle that requires work and responsibility. It is a matter of work, and you know what? The work can be really fun. It doesn't have to be like...
It is a matter of work, and you know what? The work can be really fun. It doesn't have to be like work. Taking responsibility, like I did with my husband, can be kind of puzzle-like. Trying to change him was impossible. The only person you can change is yourself. It's fun to figure out how you can do something differently. When what you are working on is the loving relationship, you think, "I need to make love with my husband. That can be fun. It was when we first met, right? So, let's see how we can make that fun again." I could say that in order to be more loving with my husband, I need to surprise him with a picnic in the backyard tonight by candle light, or I am going to surprise my husband by going on a vacation with him this weekend, or coming home from work early. Trying to grow in love can be a really fun thing to do.
The trick is that we have to overcome our ego. That's the hard part. Instead of expecting them to do it, we need to do it. Don't be upset when your husband doesn't bring home champagne and flowers on Valentine's Day, bring home the champagne and flowers yourself. Stop expecting the other person to do the work. If I am having a negative experience in something, I need to find a new way to respond to it. If you look at it like a great puzzle instead of a great problem, it can be one of those great experiences of life.
