I don't think I've ever seen a marriage or a person who didn't need to do some self-work. I think there are relationships that require more work than others, but I think that a critical element to recognize is that the work isn't necessarily on the relationship, but on you. When you change yourself, the relationship changes, too. Some of us have a lot of self-work to do. When somebody with a lot of self-work comes together with somebody else who needs a lot of self-work, the relationship is probably going to be pretty volatile and dramatic. If I have a lot of baggage, self-esteem issues, or abuse issues from a past relationship and I come together with somebody who has a lot of those same issues, we'll have to do some personal work to take responsibility for our relationship. I personally believe that everything happens to us so that we can gain some level of self-mastery. Most of us have unconsciously learned not to trust people. Whenever we think the lesson is not about love and trust, it's our ego talking rather than our spirit. Our spirit may want to learn to love more lively, carefully, or to trust more discriminatingly. I think we may come together and have a huge amount of work to do individually. It can create a challenging and toxic relationship, and sometimes the work should not be done within that relationship. If I am not working on you, and you are not working on me, the relationship may potentially improve.
