Relationship Tips: How To Get Your Spouse Or Partner To Open Up

It's important to keep the lines of communication open. One method of effective communication is the written word. Sometimes those who aren't verbally able to express themselves can do so in writing. Send your friend or partner notes that express how you feel. Ask questions within the notes to encourage an answer. Send them e-mail messages, tuck an occasional note under their pillow, in their purse, briefcase, toolbox, or lunch bag. This is an easy way to show someone you're thinking of them, and it's a good way to prompt a reply. Writing is a proven and effective way to get your feelings, hopes, dreams, and concerns across without distraction or interruption. The recipient can go over your note or letter repeatedly if necessary, and respond accordingly, if they're so inclined. The writer is free to rewrite the message if it doesn't sound right the first time. The spoken word can't always be corrected, saved, or recalled.

So, what do you do if your partner, friend, or spouse doesn't like to write? Talk to them about your feelings and/or concerns when they are in a talkative frame of mind. You're not likely to get the response you're looking for if your friend or significant other is in a quiet mood. If they dance around a certain topic or avoid it all together, look them in the eye and repeat the question or comment in another way. For all you know they didn't have a clue as to what you were talking about. Make sure they understand the question or comment, and let them know that a detailed response is important to you. It is when words go unsaid that the mind wanders and conjures up fallacies that can hurt a relationship.

People like to talk about themselves. Your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse is likely to open up if you ask them a question about something they're personally interested in. Prompt them to talk about themselves, and more than likely you'll be able to lead into the real issues at hand.

If you attempt again and again to get your significant other to open up to no avail, you may need to take harsher measures. Even if they don't respond, they will surely hear you. Turn off the television or radio, and eliminate outside noise and distractions. Make sure he or she hears your concerns, and politely demand a response in one form or another. Don't assume the other person knows what you're concerned with. Guessing games never work, and if you clam up and give them the silent treatment, chances are your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife will never figure out what's wrong. Playing "what's wrong with me now" never works. This behavior is harmful and detrimental to any relationship, and most of all, it's self-destructive to your soul.