Restoring a cheated relationship. Restoring a cheated relationship requires self esteem, growth, and love. It's a tricky thing, because ultimately they can change their behavior, but they can't change the...
It's a tricky thing, because ultimately they can change their behavior, but they can't change the way the other person feels. If a man who cheats takes responsibility for it, he can't do anything else. He can't make you feel loved. That's where self-love comes in. You have to believe him. You have to believe that you are valuable enough that he would love you. If you had asked me three years ago what my greatest fear was, it would have been my mom dying. It's horrible, it's hard, and it's difficult, but I am handling it now. I have a new sense of strength by having survived my greatest fear. The same thing is true when your partner cheats. It's a bummer, but it is survivable. You then trust yourself more to be able to handle what comes up, and that's all you can do.
It's really a matter of recognizing that my ego is hurt because this person did this thing. The premise of my book and the work that I do is helping people to identify the difference between their ego and their self-esteem. When my mom was dying, somebody said to me that my ego thinks this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me, but that my spirit says it's the best. On a personal level, this is a huge crisis in my life. On a spiritual level, it's one of the most beautiful experiences I have ever been through. The same thing is true when our partner cheats on us. It is like a crash course in learning who we really are and aligning our behavior with how we want to show up in the world, regardless of what the people around us do. It's a crash course and a blow to your ego. The ego hates every second of it, but your spirit will grow from it if you choose to let it. It can actually be a self-esteeming situation, when you allow yourself to recognize your value and your limits. It is a powerful growth exercise. All of this requires a wake up call. Am I living in ego and drama, or am I living in spirit, love, and growth? which one do I want to live in?
