People come into relationships with a whole history from their families, from other relationships, and from society about who they are. One of those things can be in conflict with what their vision is and what their partner's vision is. So it really helps to do some looking at where you come from and what were the triggers in your past and what your image of yourself is, and what you believe a partner should be. When I work with couples, sometimes I ask them about their relationship vision. What did you come into the relationship thinking it would be and who are you in the relationship. That's an important discussion I have for couples. Sometimes they don't have that and they are so wildly different because of their background and their basic desires and it's no wonder they start having conflict.
