The first day of school or leaving your child with a babysitter for the first time is stressful for both you and your child. Here are some ways to help your child cope with separation anxiety.
Looking back on my own life, my mother and I agree that I was not exposed to other children and adults as much as I should have been. Being a stay-at-home mom in the 1970s, my mother was unfamiliar with scheduling play dates with other parents and, from what I remember, my sister and I never had a babysitter. She was always around to take care of us, so going to school that first day was literally the first time I would be away from her for more than an hour or two. It is imperative that you expose your own child to other people from an early age, including children in the same age range, friends and family members. If you can, schedule play dates for your child to meet other children her own age, so she can learn social skills from an early age. Hire a babysitter every now and then when she is younger, so she learns that when you and your spouse leave, you will eventually return. Have family friends come over so your child learns the proper way to act around adults and children. By exposing your children to others, you will help her develop necessary socializing skills that will benefit her when she begins daycare or school.
When you do have to leave your child for a few hours, whether it is because she is starting a new school or going to daycare or a babysitter's for the first time, keep control of your own emotions. You will also probably experience a lesser degree of separation anxiety, as you worry whether your child will be safe or sad; however, you must not allow your child to see that you, too, are sad or nervous about leaving her somewhere. If she senses that you are not comfortable leaving her somewhere or allowing a babysitter to take care of her, she will feel that it is okay to throw a tantrum or cry when you leave. Do your best to be gentle, but firm at the same time, when leaving your child somewhere. It is very difficult for some parents to do this, so they resort to sneaking out of the house or daycare or school when they sense their child getting anxious. Do not allow yourself to do this either. You must speak to your child and let her know that you will be coming back to get her and that you understand it is sad for her to see you go. Reassure her that you will come back to get her and that it would make you proud for her to act like a big girl while you are away.
If you have the time to do so, take your child to the place where you will be leaving her, like a new school or daycare. Or, if you are going to be hiring a babysitter one night, have the babysitter drop by to meet your child so it will not be a complete surprise when they first meet. Introduce your child to a new teacher or a new daycare worker where she will be going and let her get used to these new surroundings. This will help her adjust quickly and easily when she does go to the new school or daycare for the first time.
