Setting Up Two Friends On A Date: Pros, Cons And Tips

Setting up two friends can be a delicate situation. Here are some pros, cons, and tips for the process.

Setting up two friends on a date can seem like a wonderful alternative to the seedy bars and loud clubs of the singles scene.Be aware, however, that playing matchmaker to your friends may not end in you giving the toast at their wedding.Although they could hit it off wonderfully, they could also have no chemistry whatsoever.As a result, choose your set-ups wisely.Below are some pros, cons, and tips for setting up your friends.

The best thing that can result from your set-up is a happy couple that credits you for their relationship - an obvious, though not easily attained, pro.Even if your friends do not end up in wedding bliss, the gesture to influence their future happiness will probably be appreciated.A failed romantic set-up may even result in a friendship between two of your friends, so long as they could at least stand each other.

Playing cupid also has potential pitfalls.Just as the best-case scenario of you setting up friends is their enduring happiness, the worst-case scenario is their open hostility towards each other.The chances of this crisis are slim, especially because as your mutual friends, they probably would remain civil.Be aware, though, that two people you think are great can easily find each other horrible.Even if your friends do become a couple, you also run the risk of them breaking up later, putting you in an awkward situation.


Since there is the potential for disaster, it is important to arrange the set-up as diplomatically as possible.If you must be obvious about the set-up (going so far as to arrange for them to meet in a restaurant, for example), be sure to outline the reasons why you think they would make a good couple.Mention to each friend the similarities and common interests that made you bring them together in the first place.If you have a difficult time outlining these reasons, you may want to rethink the set-up before arranging all the details.

A safer set-up route is to casually arrange a meeting for your two friends.As a threesome, you could see a movie together and then go out for drinks or coffee afterwards.Although in this sort of scenario the set-up may be clearly implied, your actions can always be attributed to your mutual enjoyment of romantic comedies if the sparks do not fly.

An even subtler set-up is to pointedly have your two friends meet repeatedly: at a party one week, out with the group for drinks the next, and then at a small gathering at your place.Although this approach can be logistically difficult, it virtually eliminates set-up disasters.If your friends don't like each other, no one is the wiser to your plan.If they do show interest, you can easily facilitate further meetings and conversations.

No matter how you arrange the set-up, know that your friends will take the person you are pairing them with as an indicator of how you view them.By trying to facilitate their love life, you are saying a lot about what you believe their tastes and preferences are.If your friend likes quiet, unassuming men, and you set her up with a life-of-the-party guy, she will probably be somewhat miffed.Not to say that no one ever falls for someone outside of their perceived type, but a set-up like that will bring your friendship into question.As a result, really think about why those two people should be together and how they will perceive each other.

Even if your friends have everything in common and still do not get along, move on and realize that it was not meant to be.You did your best, but all too frequently, the sparks are not there.Unfortunately, no one can predict chemistry.

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