Should you always bring a gift to a party? I think it always a nice touch. Especially if it's a housewarming or even a dinner party, a small gift is always appropriate. Robin Thompson, owner of Etiquette...
Robin Thompson, owner of Etiquette Network and the Robin Thompson Charm School, says that she thinks "it is always a nice touch. Especially if you're going to a housewarming party, or even a dinner party, a small gift is always appropriate. It's not required, and the hostess doesn't usually expect it--I am always a little embarrassed when people bring something when I have a dinner party. But it's common courtesy and a way to share in the expense of the party."
When bringing a gift for a housewarming or dinner party, Thompson says, "Take your hosts into consideration. Don't bring a bottle of wine if they don't drink, or chocolates if they are on a diet. A small plant, flowers, something you've baked, or an ornament are all nice gifts. It doesn't have to be expensive. If you do bring wine or dessert, be aware that the hostess may already have the wine and menu planned, so don't take offense if what you brought is not opened and served at the party. Some people are offended when they bring a bottle of wine and the hostess puts it in the wine cellar, but that's what it's for, a gift for the host."
Peggy Post, the great-granddaughter-in-law of the famous Emily Post, has similar advice in her book Emily Post's Etiquette, 17th Edition. Post says you should bring a gift to a dinner party "if appropriate. It's nice to present a host or hostess with a token of appreciation-a bottle of wine (but don't expect it to be served), candy, or gift soaps. Post says, though, that people "who dine frequently with one another are not expected to bring gifts on every occasion."
Gifts are generally expected at wedding showers. But what if there is more than one shower? Thompson says, "Some brides have several showers. Ideally, friends should only be invited to one shower, not to all of them. However, sometimes people do get invited to them all. "The bride might say, 'You are my best friend and I want you to be at all my showers, but I don't expect you to bring a gift.' But if you are sitting there without a gift, you might feel embarrassed, so I'd suggest trying to bring something small to each one, if you find yourself in that position. It's the same with baby showers--you should not be expected to attend more than one."
Thompson says, "Sometimes people ask, 'If I'm invited to a shower, do I also have to bring a gift to the wedding?' And my answer is yes, the shower is one event and the wedding is another event. Here's another situation: I had a lady call me because her coworker's granddaughter had sent her a wedding invitation. Now this woman, Mary, had never met the coworker's granddaughter or even her children. She called me and said, 'I am not going to this wedding, do I have to send a gift? I don't even know this girl.' I suggested that in that case, she just send a card with a lovely note and let it go at that. I am not fond of 'give-me-a-gift' type invitations. But, if you are going to the wedding and it's someone you know then yes, you should give a gift."
